"Fished" out of the archives in memory of Bill Henderson (1926-2016).-Ed.
by Bill Chambers The movie is called Goat on Fire and Smiling Fish. I have it on my list of what to see during the Festival–near the bottom. Its premise sounds congenial enough, but that title has obviously been conceived to inspire double-takes.
**/****
starring Albert Brooks, Sharon Stone, Andie MacDowell, Jeff Bridges
screenplay by Albert Brooks & Monica Johnson
directed by Albert Brooks
by Bill Chambers Albert Brooks's latest alter ego Stephen Phillips doesn't have writer's block, per se–he's artistically impotent. Only a week after winning a humanitarian award for his body of work, Stephen suffers at the hands of a young pup executive who pans his latest script (it's not edgy enough) and voids his contract with the studio. Jack (Jeff Bridges, deliciously arrogant), Stephen's successful screenwriter friend, suggests he seek out the inspiration of Sarah (Sharon Stone), an alleged "muse for hire." Sarah once rekindled Jack's creative fire; a desperate Stephen suspends his disbelief in her powers and begs for her counsel, even if it means having to shower her with gifts from Tiffany's, rent her a $1500/night room at the Four Seasons, and be at her beck and call. Meanwhile, Laura (Andie MacDowell), Stephen's wife, becomes chummy with Sarah over an expensive lunch and soon decides to start a cookie business, something along the lines of Famous Amos or Mrs. Fields. Long before Stephen finishes a new, edgier script, Wolfgang Puck–another of Sarah's Hollywood clients–is throwing Laura a party at Spago in honour of her baked goods.
CRUEL INTENTIONS
**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras A
starring Ryan Phillipe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair
written and directed by Roger Kumble
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PAYBACK
**/**** Image A Sound A
starring Mel Gibson, Maria Bello, Gregg Henry, Lucy Liu
screenplay by Brian Helgeland and Terry Hayes, based on the novel The Hunter by Richard Stark
directed by Brian Helgeland
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by Bill Chambers SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. The Mel Gibson revenge movie Payback and the teen romance Cruel Intentions have a surprising amount in common. For starters, they each represent the mainstream's idea of a subversive night at the movies. Both films centre unapologetically on bastard antiheroes–if Payback and Cruel Intentions were intended as escapist entertainments, and I believe they were, then something like the "Quake" and "Doom" videogame mentality has invaded Hollywood filmmaking: Let's spend the evening staring at a disposable world through the eyes of a misanthrope.
***½/**** Image A Sound A- Extras B
starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Ashley Judd
written and directed by Michael Mann
by Vincent Suarez Michael Mann's Heat is a rare Hollywood action film, indeed. In an era in which the standard studio actioner consists of loosely-motivated bits of plot and character development that merely link one set-piece to the next, the explosive action sequences in Heat fittingly punctuate moments of genuine drama enacted by a wealth of interesting characters. Further, while today's action films are invariably vehicles for the likes of Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, et al, Heat is the rare studio action picture that, despite its own heavyweight stars, is truly an ensemble piece, cast and acted to perfection. And in an age when the standard Hollywood epic spends three hours glossing over the "major events" in its characters' lives, Heat confines its three hours to perhaps a few weeks of "real" time, allowing Mann (who produced, wrote, and directed) to present a drama that is epic in its emotional depth, if not in years.
Future Noir: The Making of Blade Runner
FFC rating: 10/10
by Paul M. Sammon
by Bill Chambers Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner took two years to complete, while Paul M. Sammon’s exhaustive document of its inception was finished over a period of one-and-a-half decades. The author admits that his book, like its subject, is “compulsively detailed.” Future Noir‘s appendices alone–which include a thorough interview with Scott, fussy comparisons of Blade Runner‘s multiple video incarnations, confirmed continuity slip-ups, soundtrack information, a directory of related websites, and a full credits listing–occupy 66 pages! In fact, the only information Sammon fails to provide is his own credentials. A journeyman in the best way, he’s a film journalist and documentarian who, as an inveterate producer of electronic press kits, was eyewitness to some legendary (and legendarily troubled) genre productions, such as Dune and RoboCop.
Killer Instinct: How Two Young Producers Took on Hollywood and Made the Most Controversial Film of the Decade
FFC rating: 7.5/10
by Jane Hamsher
by Jarrod Chambers Why do we enjoy Killer Instinct so much more than other Hollywood tell-all books? It has all the same elements–booze, drugs, adultery, politics and backstabbing, production nightmares, and boneheaded executives–that a hundred other stories of La-La land contain. So why did I find myself gobbling this book like popcorn during the opening trailers?
*½/****
starring Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins, Joan Cusack, Hope Davis
screenplay by Ehren Kruger
directed by Mark Pellington
by Bill Chambers Wrote Josh Young, in issue #493 of ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: "With studios now viewing the mid-level, Oscar-nominated directors as a luxury they can no longer afford, established auteurs…are facing increasingly stiff competition from slick young music-video turks who'll work for a mere pittance." From its galling opening sequence, I wondered what Arlington Road would look like had it been sired by someone more established in movies than the director of Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" clip. Director Mark Pellington is so mindful of 'the image' that writer Ehren Kruger's plotting eventually drops off the tightrope of credibility. Could a veteran filmmaker, comparable in status to the late Alan J. Pakula, swindle us more successfully with the same screenplay?
*/****
starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek
screenplay by Brent Maddock, S.S. Wilson, Peter S. Seaman, and Jeffrey Price
directed by Barry Sonnenfeld
by Bill Chambers If you don't think Kevin Kline in drag is funny, wait 'til you see Will Smith in drag–it's even less funny. By the time Jim West (Smith) had disguised himself as a belly dancer to retrieve his captured comrade Artemus Gordon (Kline) from the clutches of evil Dr. Loveless (Kenneth Branagh), I was unequivocally bored with Wild Wild West, the new summer action-comedy from Men in Black director Barry Sonnenfeld. Is the Old West really a breeding ground for slapstick, anyway? If your answer is yes, you're probably thinking of Blazing Saddles, but Blazing Saddles was a parody of the western genre that also satirized the social climate of 1974, not a nineteenth-century romp in and of itself.
***/**** Image A Sound A- Extras B+
starring Sean Penn, Kevin Spacey, Robin Wright Penn, Chazz Palminteri
screenplay by David Rabe, based on his play
directed by Anthony Drazan
by Bill Chambers The word "hurlyburly" describes the thought processes of Eddie the Cokehead to a tee. As played by Sean Penn, hypersensitive Eddie is a wind-up toy that threatens to stroll right off the tabletop–he just doesn't let things go. At first, his behaviour smacks of self-absorption, narcissism, solipsism ("My biggest distraction is me," he tells a loved one). Eventually, we come to understand that Eddie is an existential Sherlock Holmes, desperate to get to the bottom of, quite literally, everything. Hurlyburly is about how a place like Hollywood can eat a person like Eddie alive, because there's no there there. What you see is what you get.
Storm of the Century
**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Commentary A-
starring Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Debrah Farentino, Casey Siemaszko
teleplay by Stephen King
directed by Craig R. Baxley
by Bill Chambers Donald Trump probably hears it every time he gets a divorce: “Give me what I want and I will go away.” Stephen King, prolific author of books beautiful (The Green Mile serial) and banal (Insomnia), recently wove a miniseries, the TV equivalent of an “event movie,” around this loaded demand. For three consecutive nights during last February’s sweeps week, viewers tuned in to Storm of the Century wondering what the psychic, psychotic Linoge (Colm Feore) could possibly want from the townsfolk of a New England inlet on the eve of a blizzard loosely inspired by the one that was christened “storm of the century” when it passed through the Eastern seaboard in 1993.
***/**** Image A Sound B Extras A-
starring Ian McKellen, Brendan Fraser, Lynn Redgrave, Lolita Davidovich
screenplay by Bill Condon, based on the novel Father of Frankenstein by Christopher Bram
directed by Bill Condon
by Bill Chambers Retired filmmaker James Whale (an uncanny Ian McKellen) invites his gardener, a young ex-Marine named Clay Boone (Brendan Fraser), into the drawing-room for drinks and cigars. The scene purposely recalls the one from Whale’s The Bride of Frankenstein in which Karloff’s Creature accepts a lonely blind man’s hospitality, only to sour things by erupting at the sight of an open flame because he’s terrified of fire. Likewise, hulky Clay cuts short his time with Whale when the director’s conspicuous, some might say flaming, homosexuality begins to disgust him. “Same difference,” James tells Clay. “Fear and disgust. All part of the same great gulf that stands between us.”
Love and a .45
ZERO STARS/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras A-
starring Gil Bellows, Renee Zellweger, Rory Cochrane, Jeffrey Combs
written and directed by C.M. Talkington
by Bill Chambers Call it Naturally Boring Killers. Scaredy-cat, white-trash lovers Watty (Gil Bellows) and Starlene (Renee Zellweger) are so devoid of personality that, while on the lam, they keep talking about the exploits of other famous outlaw couples (Bonnie and Clyde, for instance). A pop detachment datestamps the piece: In 1999, 1994’s alternately violent and ironic Love and a .45 seems quaint. It’s also intolerable.
written by George Lucas
FFC rating: 6/10
by Bill Chambers Chiefly, I bought Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace Illustrated Screenplay a week before the movie opened because I wanted to know what kind of screenwriter is George Lucas. (It was also the most desirable life-preserver I could grab while caught in the recent tidal wave of Star Wars hype.) The book wound up a handy reference manual as I wrote my review of the finished film, but that doesn’t justify its $21 (Canadian) sticker price. (It can be had for much less online.)
This one's pretty rough, folks; mea culpa. Reprinted for posterity and completism, since Walter reviewed the other two. Some minor edits made for clarity.-BC
**/****
starring Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Potrtman, Jake Lloyd
written and directed by George Lucas
by Bill Chambers Forgoing my typical formula in an effort to write something that stands out from the pack. I can't promise not to spoil anything, but I will do my best to avoid giving too much away.
*½/**** Image B- Sound B-
starring Julian Sands, Chris Young, Paula Marshall, Joanna Pacula
screenplay by Kevin Rock and Sam Bernard
directed by Anthony Hickox
by Bill Chambers
"In the old days, warriors would make love before going off to battle."
*½/**** Image A Sound A+
starring Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, F. Murray Abraham, Anthony Zerbe
screenplay by Michael Piller
directed by Johnathan Frakes
by Bill Chambers Stardate: 12/13/98 Everything about this ninth entry in Star Trek's feature-film franchise seems on the cheap, from its Roger Corman-grade special effects (the series' worst since Star Trek V: The Final Frontier) to its highly derivative and ugly ad campaign (the poster is nearly identical to that for Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country). But Michael Piller's not-even-half-baked screenplay should ultimately claim responsibility for the failure of Star Trek: Insurrection. I'm about to give the same unsolicited advice to Trek producer Rick Berman that I've given to the financiers of James Bond movies: it's time to breathe life back into this workhorse by hiring solid genre writers and a real director. While we're at it, put that visor back on La Forge!
Past Imperfect: History According to the Movies
FFC rating: 9/10
edited by Mark C. Carnes
by Bill Chambers Steven Spielberg’s nineteenth-century-set Amistad was criticized in the pages of Roger Ebert’s “Movie Answer Man” for its characters’ use of the greeting “Hello,” an uncommon conversation-starter until well after the introduction of the telephone. Experts are wont to nitpick such details, and the collection Past Imperfect: History According to the Movies has provided a panel of experts a forum for their criticisms of so-called fact-based motion pictures. For trivia buffs like myself, who learn as much from what a movie gets wrong as from what it gets right, the book is page after fascinating page of Hollywood getting caught taking liberties great and small.
**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Extras B+
starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey
screenplay by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron
directed by Nora Ephron
by Bill Chambers I'm no grammarian, but AOL's syntactical redundancy of a catchphrase "You've got mail!" has always been nails-on-a-chalkboard for me. Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail the movie is somewhat redundant, too: It bears more than a passing resemblance to the 1993 Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan-Ephron outing Sleepless in Seattle while also being the second remake of Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner, which I'm embarrassed to admit I've never seen. (Have since rectified.-Ed.)
***/****
starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss, Hugo Weaving
written and directed by Lana and Lilly Wachowski (née The Wachowski Brothers)
by Vincent Suarez There's an early moment in The Matrix when Keanu Reeves's character retrieves contraband from a hollowed-out copy of one of the canonical texts of Postmodernism, Simulacra and Simulation, in which Jean Baudrillard suggests that modern reality is little more than a series of items and experiences replicating all that has come before; that ours is a reality comprising resemblances. It's details like these which elevate The Matrix above the vast majority of recent science-fiction films. Yet, like the strain of contemporary philosophy informing it, The Matrix is full of inconsistencies and contradictions, holes you could drive a truck through… But it's a scenic drive.
½*/**** Image A Sound B+ Extras C-
screenplay by David N. Weiss & J. David Stem
directed by Norton Virgien & Igor Kovalyov
by Bill Chambers Demographically challenged, I nonetheless looked forward to spinning The Rugrats Movie DVD because: