30 Days (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Documentary, DVD, Television

Image A- Sound A- Extras B
“Minimum Wage,” “Anti-Aging,” “Muslims and America,” Straight Man in a Gay World,” “Off the Grid,” “Binge Drinking Mom”

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover The least interesting thing about Super Size Me was the gimmick for which we showed up. Morgan Spurlock’s month-long Mickey-D’s binge yielded nothing any reasonably well-informed person couldn’t have guessed about fast-food nutritional horrors. Rather, it was the supporting information on the extent and pervasiveness of those horrors that made the film worth the effort. Of course, there are large numbers of people who won’t invite facts into their home without entertainment as incentive, so maybe the Spurlock method is craftier than a first glance would suggest. In any event, we now have six more cases with which to test it: debuting on DVD in conjunction with its second-season premiere, his FX program “30 Days” puts the Month-Long Gimmick to work on a variety of unsuspecting innocents in the name of informing the public. And though there are limits to the success of each 44-minute episode, our man harmoniously blends information with rubbernecking.

The Wicker Man (2006)

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Canada, Esoterica, Germany, Horror, Mexico, Mystery, Nicolas Cage, Theatrical, Thriller

*/****
starring Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Kate Beahan, Frances Conroy
screenplay by Neil LaBute, based on the screenplay by Anthony Shaffer
directed by Neil LaBute

by Walter Chaw You mark off certain literary flourishes in Neil LaBute’s remake of Robin Hardy’s classic The Wicker Man, and then you can’t help but note that beneath the pagan matriarchy that is its villain and the hangdog cop (Nicolas Cage) that is its dullard hero, the film is just the auteur’s latest unnecessarily reductive gender deconstruction. It’s another major disappointment from the man who put humanity on the spit in In the Company of Men and–to a lesser, if no less affecting, degree–Your Friends and Neighbors. This redux hates women and, more, it hates femininity–typical LaBute, you could fairly offer, especially after Possession and The Shape of Things; The Wicker Man demonstrates again that LaBute is one of the brightest, most well-read American directors working–and that he’s become incapable of focusing his smarts on a target other than the cruel and essentially alien nature of women. Hitchcock’s films are arguably as obsessed, but his “wrong men” were hardly free of complicity in the construction of their own downfalls. Fatal to the production, then, is the introduction of an unsullied male hero–a literal martyr this time instead of the figurative types of LaBute’s last couple of pictures: a man of action (no milquetoast intellectuals here) struggling against a rising tide of castrating, hippie harpies.

Don’t Come Knocking (2005) – DVD

Don’t Come Knocking (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Drama, DVD, France, Germany, Music, UK

**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras B
starring Sam Shepard, Jessica Lange, Tim Roth, Gabriel Mann
screenplay by Sam Shepard, based on his play
directed by Wim Wenders

by Walter Chaw Howard Spence (Sam Shepard) is a has-been western star knocked down a few pegs by alcohol, drugs, and groupies–and so like any good anti-hero, he takes off in the middle of shooting a film, on horseback, to reunite with his long-estranged mother (Eva Marie Saint) before heading off to Butte, Montana in search of a long-lost bastard son (Gabriel Mann). He has a few conversations with the barmaid (Jessica Lange) he knocked up once upon a time, while a sullen girl (Sarah Polley) carrying a blue urn stalks him around town, offering the occasional cryptic message before retreating again into the wallpaper. But what glorious wallpaper it is, with Wim Wenders and his cinematographer Franz Lustig finding in Butte a myth of the American West frozen in bright, primary, Edward Hopper amber. Twin painters of isolation and suspension, Wenders and Hopper–since long about The American Friend–have been on a mission to redraw the psychic divorce of one American from another in minor chords and long, drawn-out tremolos. Don’t Come Knocking, though, is only minor Wenders, and I do wonder if giving over too much faith in the flagging abilities of Shepard to write a script worth shooting has cost him his pitch this time around.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Posted in2000s, 2006, Action, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, Sports, Theatrical

***½/****
starring Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Sacha Baron Cohen, Gary Cole
screenplay by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay
directed by Adam McKay

by Walter Chaw I feel about Will Ferrell the way I feel about Jack Black: that they’re good second-fiddles on occasion, but put them in a lead role and my eyeballs roll into the back of my head. Imagine my surprise that Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (hereafter Talladega Nights) showcases Ferrell’s Faulknerian idiot man-child to great advantage in a vehicle that’s sharp, smart, topical, and funny. It’s an exuberant satire in every sense of the abused term–a twisting of familiar elements into grotesquerie that brings to light the essential absurdity of the familiar, sketching a portrait of the divide between the blue states and the red states with a feather bludgeon. It’s this year’s Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, doing for anti-intellectual animals and effete eggheads what that film did for the racism levelled in popular culture at “favoured” minorities. This is the finest document yet of the special brand of idiocy that compels our noble Congress to rename French Fries and French toast in their commissary or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, the air of noblesse oblige that taints the highbrow’s mincing, faux-outraged response. Credit Talladega Nights for this: no one’s necks have ever been redder than those sported by these self-described r*tards, and no brainy gay Frenchmen have ever been this gay and French.

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) [Special Collector’s Edition – Widescreen] – DVD

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) [Special Collector’s Edition – Widescreen] – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, DVD, Family, Romance

½*/**** Image A- Sound A Extras C-
starring Dennis Quaid, Rene Russo, Rip Torn, Linda Hunt
screenplay by Ron Burch & David Kidd, based on the screenplay by Melville Shavelson and Mort Lachman
directed by Raja Gosnell

by Walter Chaw Hand it to deal-with-the-devil Raja Gosnell’s Yours, Mine & Ours, a worthless update of the mostly worthless Henry Fonda/Lucille Ball original: at least it hurries up and cranks Admiral Frank (Dennis Quaid) and hippie-chick Helen (Rene Russo) into holy matrimony. But then, it’s not about the parents–it’s about getting covered in goop and obnoxious kid gags, so once we jettison the only two possible reasons to see this shipwreck (ignoring poor Rip Torn and Linda Hunt in perfunctory supporting roles), we’re offered eighteen adorable reasons to open our wrists and tie our tubes. You know the drill: disgusting food jokes, barf jokes, fart and poop and piss and pet jokes, sped-up moments, weird references to The Parent Trap, and then the obligatory soupy plot machinations that get the arch-enemy family camps to join forces to manufacture a feel-good throb of family against all odds. As Robert Altman himself couldn’t work a miracle with these twenty-two main characters (eighteen of them pre-adolescent), maybe it’s not fair to expect Gosnell to conjure something watchable from this infernal clips reel of children screaming–but one did have the reasonable expectation that he wouldn’t twice humiliate Quaid in silly-noise-augmented slapstick scenarios.

Mondovino (2004) – DVD

Mondovino (2004) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Argentina, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Documentary, DVD, France, Italy

***½/**** Image A- Sound A Extras A-
directed by Jonathan Nossiter

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover

“I like order, but I also like disorder.”
-Hubert de Montille, Mondovino

Like a lot of people unconnected to the better households, I always viewed the obsessive discernment of wine lovers with a dash of incredulity. Cultivating taste in the arts, now that seemed to make sense: it was where the beliefs of a culture were stored, where competing values duked it out for the right to call themselves a representation of reality. But wine? The other grape juice? Something didn’t jibe–which made me nervous about approaching Jonathan Nossiter’s Mondovino. Yet the film’s subject isn’t really wine at all: this is a tract on how globalization is sucking local identity and individual quirk out of everything it touches. The subject could be art or food or, dare I say it, film. It’s a preview of what we’re going to be stuck with, and a message to those atomized in their fields that things are tough all over.

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) [Special Collector’s Edition] – DVD

What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) [Special Collector’s Edition] – DVD

Posted in1990s, 2006, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Disability, Drama, DVD

*½/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras B-
starring Johnny Depp, Juliette Lewis, Mary Steenburgen, Leonardo DiCaprio
screenplay by Peter Hedges, based on his novel
directed by Lasse Hallström

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover There’s a cult following for What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, but it’s peopled by folks without the stomach for a genuine cult outrage. Trafficking in low-level “unconventionality,” it’s fatally done in by Hollywood bet-hedging and the searing banality of director Lasse Hallström–a man who could turn William S. Burroughs into Norman Rockwell apple pie. Despite the potentially traumatic nature of the material (parental suicide, morbid obesity, self-abnegation), the film plays like every other mainstream weepie, with its straight edge only slightly dulled by trace elements of eccentricity. It’s one of those movies that works exactly as planned but bulldozes the implications that might make it less–or rather more–than stimulus/response emotional pornography.

Scoop (2006)

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, Crime, Mystery, Scarlett Johansson, Theatrical, UK

½*/****
starring Woody Allen, Hugh Jackman, Scarlett Johansson, Ian McShane
written and directed by Woody Allen

by Walter Chaw Woody Allen’s stock had been falling when the surprising restraint and structure of the frankly-just-decent Match Point temporarily staunched a hemorrhage of appalling failures. Call Scoop a return to form, then, with Allen doing Allen again to rapidly diminishing returns, spicing things up this time around with a teeny dose of post-modern self-deprecation that seems not so much thoughtful as pathetic. The Woodman plays a fast-talking, stammering, Catskills comedian calling himself “The Great Splendini” (for the “square haircuts,” he Rickles) who, as Allen is wont to do nowadays, acts as the pandering mentor for a hot young couple. What’s most shocking is that a puff of dust and cobwebs don’t erupt from his mouth every time it creaks open to deliver another pun about Trollope/trollop and Ruebens/Rueben (the corned beef and sauerkraut variety). Otherwise, it’s The More the Merrier ad infinitum: the old fart helping a couple of good-looking kids get their groove on–with the twist of a Jack the Ripper subplot woven awkwardly into the narrative. It’s far easier to identify the Victorian rake as Allen himself, what with his vaguely pedophilic sleights-of-hand lurking in every frame. That’s not necessarily bad if the film’s about a Tom Ripley sociopath (à la Match Point), of course, but it’s pretty bad when it’s a piece of fluff starring his favourite new obsession.

Miami Vice (2006)

Posted in2000s, 2006, Action, Authors: Walter Chaw, Crime, Directors: Michael Mann, Drama, Germany, Theatrical, Thriller

***/****
starring Jamie Foxx, Colin Farrell, Gong Li, Naomie Harris
written and directed by Michael Mann

by Walter Chaw Slot Michael Mann’s Miami Vice in there alongside other millennial films about the disintegration of society and its subsequent renewal along tribal, exclusively masculine lines. It’s a film from whose nihilism I would’ve recoiled just a few years ago, but now I see that as perhaps the definitive trend of the first six years of this brave new world (first five after 9/11, the inciting event of this love affair with apocalyptic cultural reset) and not entirely divorced from our reality besides. The best illustration of how we’ve gone from the voodoo of self-esteem of the Reagan ’80s (for which the Mann-produced “Miami Vice” television show has become something of a cultural roadmark) to the blasted, self-abnegating, divided wasteland of Bush 2’s America might be the difference between the white suits and socks-less loafers of the previous incarnation to the flak-jackets and high-velocity splatter head-shots of this one. WWI introduced irony into our lexicon with the advent of long-range, impersonal murder–and 9/11 deepened it in the popular culture in the United States with an existential fatalism borne of the idea that not only is sudden, arbitrary destruction from above a possibility, but most likely an unavoidable eventuality.

Street Law (1974) + The Big Racket (1976) + The Heroin Busters (1977) – DVDs

Street Law (1974) + The Big Racket (1976) + The Heroin Busters (1977) – DVDs

Posted in1970s, 2006, Action, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Blue Underground, Crime, Drama, DVD, Italy, Thriller

STREET LAW
Il cittadino si ribella
**/**** Image A Sound A Extras B-
starring Franco Nero, Giancarlo Prete, Barbara Bach, Renzo Palmer
screenplay by Massimo de Rita and Dino Maiuri
directed by Enzo G. Castellari

THE BIG RACKET
Il grande racket
**/**** Image A Sound A Extras B+
starring Fabio Testi, Vincent Gardenia, Renzo Palmer
screenplay by Arduino Maiuri, Massimo de Rita, Enzo G. Castellari
directed by Enzo G. Castellari

THE HEROIN BUSTERS
La via della droga
*½/**** Image A- Sound A Extras B-
starring Fabio Testi, David Hemmings, Sherry Buchanan
screenplay by Massimo de Rita and Enzo G. Castellari
directed by Enzo G. Castellari

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover There comes a point in every man’s life when he finds himself pushed too far. By “too far,” I naturally mean the moment where a) criminal thugs are roaming the streets, and b) innocent bystanders are completely expendable in their apprehension and/or bloody death. And if Blue Underground is to be believed, Enzo G. Castellari long ago reached that point. The champagne of exploitation labels has lavished infinite care on three of the master’s most lurid exploits: the Death Wish precursor Street Law; the police-vigilante epic The Big Racket; and the relatively routine drug drama The Heroin Busters. Each of these films does away with such nuisances as due process and respect for public safety. Castellari’s oeuvre reveals the dark underbelly of ’70s permissiveness, which on one hand extended the hippie mandate to less shaggy extremes but on the other encouraged right-wingers to embrace police-brutality extravaganzas.

MASH (1970) – DVD

MASH (1970) – DVD

Posted in1970s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, Directors: Robert Altman, Drama, DVD, Palme d'Or Winner, War

***½/**** Image A Sound A Extras A
starring Donald Sutherland, Elliott Gould, Tom Skerritt, Sally Kellerman
screenplay by Ring Lardner, Jr., based on the novel by Richard Hooker
directed by Robert Altman

by Walter Chaw On the shortlist of Robert Altman masterpieces, MASH compares best with his The Long Goodbye in that both are unapologetically informed by the cult of masculinity: fucking and fucking people up. Tenderness in the film is someone breaking their hand on someone else’s head when that someone else says something stupid to a kid. Better, it’s giving a different kid a stroke magazine to counteract his de facto religious training at the hands of an obvious nutjob (who’s nutty mainly because he’s trying to impose enlightenment where enlightenment cannot by definition exist). Accordingly, matters of spirituality and men of the cloth are to be scoffed at while other rituals–like the rites observed in an operating theatre, or golf (a game played with clubs), or football, or the pursuit of women–are regarded with the obsessive gravity of a lower primate. It’s about male bonding, all that cruelty towards women and disrespect of authority and open racism–the game of me-against-you in a film that, contrary to popular consensus, isn’t a Hellerian satire about the absurdity of war, but what may be the saddest war film ever made in that it identifies conflict as something that, however contrary to civilization, is inextricably hardwired into our bestial nature. We’re vile, stupid, ignoble apes, and we aspire to ideals we’re eternally incapable of honouring.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) [Cinema Classics Collection] – DVD

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970) [Cinema Classics Collection] – DVD

Posted in1970s, 2006, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Esoterica, Music

***½/**** Image A Sound A Extras A
starring Dolly Read, Cynthia Myers, Marcia McBroom, John La Zar
screenplay by Roger Ebert
directed by Russ Meyer

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover There’s no point in whitewashing the career of Russ Meyer. Latter-day critics have tried to float the filmmaker/satirist/horndog as some kind of feminist despite much evidence to the contrary, and though against-the-grain readings are possible, really, who are we kidding? Similarly, his Beyond the Valley of the Dolls is loaded with all sorts of attitudes most thinking adults would rather like to forget, including a streak of homophobia that resonates as slightly nasty. But with Meyer, it’s impossible to separate an actual position from a sitting duck–and that confusion is what makes his films so uniquely mind-blowing. His fake morality tales blow up the very notion of morality, to the point where his less noble conceits are torpedoed with everything else.

L’Enfant (2005) + The Devil and Daniel Johnston (2006)|L’Enfant (2005) – DVD

L’Enfant (2005) + The Devil and Daniel Johnston (2006)|L’Enfant (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Belgium, Crime, Directors: Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, Documentary, Drama, DVD, France, Music, Palme d'Or Winner, Romance, Theatrical

The Child
**½/****
starring Jérémie Renier, Déborah François, Jérémie Segard, Fabrizio Rongione
written and directed by Jean-Pierre Dardenne & Luc Dardenne

THE DEVIL AND DANIEL JOHNSTON
**/****
directed by Jeff Feuerzeig

by Walter Chaw I believe the title is meant to indicate the arrested protagonist more than it is the baby he tries to sell on the black market, thus The Child (L’Enfant)–another of Belgian filmmakers Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne’s mild, allegorical subversions of Robert Bresson and incrementally more violent subversions of the French New Wave–takes on Pickpocket via Breathless. In so doing, it conjures up this odd chimera of a stylistically backward-looking, formalist deconstruction, the first film of the Brothers (after La Promesse, Rosetta, and The Son) to feel this much like a knowing satire, to come so perilously close to being smug and post-modern that its style begins to become confused with its message. It could be a product of overfamiliarity with a fine and distinct sensibility (the last thing this kind of innovation can afford is to be outrun and second-guessed), or it could be that the Brothers are getting either bored of their shtick or fond of their reputation.

Monster House (2006)

Posted in2000s, 2006, Animation, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, Family, Horror, Mystery, Spielberg, Theatrical

***/****
screenplay by Dan Harmon & Rob Schrab and Pamela Pettler
directed by Gil Kenan

by Walter Chaw There’s a lightness to the heroes of Monster House, as well as a certain callous insouciance in the way the film handles itself as a metaphor for puberty, but the effects for the titular monster and the care with which it sketches the human monster living inside it make the picture fascinating. When it’s humming, above and below, the contraption identifies the malady of adolescence as loneliness, as becoming an outcast caste of one (“This is why we sit by ourselves at lunch”), if in mind only. It knows the sudden, emboldening rush of recognizing a girl’s charms, and it sees in friendship the bonds and courage that time hasn’t yet had the chance to disdain. None of this is surprising, particularly, especially since its executive producers are Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg–who, between them, have fashioned some of our finest monuments to the cult of childhood. But then Monster House throws a curveball and makes its bad guys…tragic. And not just tragic but unbearably tragic–tragic enough that they become ennobled through their tragedy; by the end of the film, with its surprising declaration of “freedom,” what could have been a trite affirmation of the ironic swap of the fears of childhood for the anxieties of the teenage years is transformed into a more ecumenical discussion about how life is sacrifice and love is sometimes unrequited, and about loyalty to causes in which we believe and the people in whom we invest ourselves.

Gabrielle (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Drama, DVD, France, Germany, Italy, Romance

***½/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras N/A
starring Isabelle Huppert, Pascal Greggory, Claudia Coli, Thierry Hancisse
screenplay by Patrice Chéreau & Anne-Louise Trividic, based on the novel The Return by Joseph Conrad
directed by Patrice Chéreau

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover It’s official: the heritage movie is dead. Long the bane of young rowdies and middlebrow-haters the world over, the form breathed its last breaths earlier this century following a couple of decades of uncritical support. Witness Patrice Chéreau’s outstanding literary adaptation Gabrielle, which manages to avoid the pitfalls of the genre while simultaneously critiquing its lesser examples. There is no comfort to be had in well-appointed houses or the tasteful appreciation of “the arts”–only, after Joseph Conrad’s The Return, a vain and selfish man who uses such accoutrements for his self-aggrandizement. The film snatches away the cheap pleasures of heritage, blowing up its shallow comforts and rocking you in ways a mere “period piece” never could.

Porn King (2005) – DVD

Porn King (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Alex Jackson, Blue Underground, Documentary, DVD

*/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras B-
directed by James Guardino

by Alex Jackson James Guardino’s Porn King is a sterling example of how not to make a documentary. It fails on every conceivable level–I seriously cannot imagine any possible way to justify this movie. Above all, I feel a real anger towards Guardino: he’s wasting my time. He has nothing to say and no passion for the medium; he treats this film like a glorified lottery ticket to the big leagues. My beef with most documentaries is that they’re all steak and no sizzle. They have a subject but no particular opinion on it and little desire to realize it cinematically. That’s considered a virtue in some corners. Many believe that information should be unaffected and vanilla–objective. The thing about objectivity, though, is that it subjugates the author, clouding him in anonymity and making him and his film invulnerable to critique. I end up writing the same thing about almost every documentary I review, because otherwise I would be forced to discuss the subject matter exclusively, and a film’s subject matter should never be the sole criterion by which to judge its quality.

Nanny McPhee (2005) [Widescreen] – DVD

Nanny McPhee (2005) [Widescreen] – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Walter Chaw, Comedy, DVD, Family, France, UK

**½/**** Image A Sound A- Extras B
starring Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Kelly Macdonald, Angela Lansbury
screenplay by Emma Thompson, based on the “Nurse Matilda” books by Christianna Brand
directed by Kirk Jones

by Walter Chaw Often as garish and shrill as it is magical and enchanting, Kirk Jones’ Nanny McPhee throws into sharp relief the difficulty of describing the tightrope so artfully navigated by Babe: Pig in the City. In its favour, there are strong, fairytale-sinister undercurrents to it that feel authentic, where the darkness of the slick Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events felt, on the whole, manufactured and arch, and the film finds its surest footing in an idea essential to children’s entertainment: that every action has a consequence. The answer to the question of what, exactly, is Nanny McPhee (Emma Thompson), or what generator produces these Mary Poppinses like sexless, befrocked clergy attending wayward British moppets, is that Nanny McPhee is stuffy consequence personified–the element of parents and/or society that, often with something like a supernatural hand in the eyes of a child, embeds itself in a growing moral conscience. There’s something grand and mysterious about these figures, and Jones allows Nanny the freedom to be as enigmatic, omniscient, and omnipotent as a superego on the wax.

Fetching Cody (2005) – DVD

Fetching Cody (2005) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Canada, Drama, DVD, Romance, Time Travel, ZERO STARS

ZERO STARS/**** Image B+ Sound A Extras C-
starring Jay Baruchel, Sarah Lind, Jim Byrnes, Robert Kaiser
written and directed by David Ray

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Canada is a nation of amateurs. Some terrible national weakness has taught us to be sheepishly inexact, as if trying to tell a story or form a coherent argument were about showing up and meekly filling in time as opposed to a complex array of intellectual and aesthetic decisions. We’ll do the job, but we won’t do it precisely–and frequently, the results are empty shells like Fetching Cody. I wouldn’t be nearly so angry about its failure if I didn’t know that there were more like it–long, unbroken streams of arrested preadolescents looking to get points for being “serious” and “meaningful”–coming down the pipeline. Critics are probably the largest segment of the population who’ll see them, which probably accounts for why we’re terse in our dismissals: we know we’ll wind up talking to no one but ourselves.

Ask the Dust (2006) – DVD

Ask the Dust (2006) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Walter Chaw, Drama, DVD, Germany, Romance

½*/**** Image A Sound A Extras B-
starring Colin Farrell, Salma Hayek, Donald Sutherland, Eileen Atkins
screenplay by Robert Towne, based on the novel by John Fante
directed by Robert Towne

by Walter Chaw As a male of the average chauvinist-pig variety, you find yourself inclined to give Robert Towne’s Ask the Dust the benefit of the doubt because he’s convinced Salma Hayek to strip naked a few times and roll around in the surf. And yet the realization dawns inescapable that no matter the acres of flesh, the film is every bit as horrible as that self-serious, neo-camp sexploitation classic Original Sin (another noir based on a lesser-known, period-dependent novel–that one by Cornell Woolrich, this one by John Fante), with only the gender/race roles reversed–that watching naked Angelina Jolie writhe around with Antonio Banderas can be every bit as disturbingly sexless as Hayek and Colin Farrell doing same. Promising to follow the James M. Cain pot-boiler formula with its dense voiceovers and faux-sordid, sepia-stained sexing, Ask the Dust is actually just inert, a painfully-overwritten, impossible-to-execute picture loaded down with self-conscious slatted shadows and mirrors (and all manner of noir affectations) that isn’t only set in 1930s Los Angeles, but plays exactly as anachronistic and fusty as most films produced in the Thirties, too. It’s the kind of movie that makes much of a character’s English-impaired malapropisms (“Not ‘grew on me,’ grew in me…like a baby,” mewls Hayek’s character in one of many excruciating proclamations); to its core, it’s the kind of movie that sucks now and always has in exactly the same way.

Running Scared (2006) – DVD

Running Scared (2006) – DVD

Posted in2000s, 2006, Action, Authors: Walter Chaw, Crime, Drama, DVD, Germany, Thriller

***/**** Image A+ Sound A Extras C
starring Paul Walker, Cameron Bright, Vera Farmiga, Chazz Palminteri
written and directed by Wayne Kramer

by Walter Chaw I liked Wayne Kramer’s Running Scared because Running Scared isn’t ashamed of itself. It’s not terribly audacious (in direct contradiction to the consensus opinion that the film is “over-the-top,” I found it to be sort of tame in its sexuality, violence, and atrocity) and it’s not witty or smart or loaded with the archetype that a direct homage to the Brothers Grimm (the picture is set in the fictitious hamlet of “Grimley”) would imply. Its prologue’s cliffhanger, for instance, is paid off at the end in absolutely the most spineless way possible, betraying the dark fairytale template of which the film is so proud. (Fairytales were never this squeamish about strangers actually injuring–sometimes killing–children.) Besides, there’s nothing terribly subversive about suggesting that the world is a dangerous place for kids. And yet, there is embedded in Running Scared‘s clueless schizophrenia (it wants to be edgy even as it’s spending the majority of its energy on slick editing tricks, comic-book CGI effects, and a restless camera that doesn’t hold still long enough for a fly to land on it) a nasty, seductive class of real cinematic infatuation and a knowledge, idiot savant-like or otherwise, of how to implicate a viewer in the things unfolding onscreen. A neat trick. Neater because the protagonist with whom we suture, as it were, is played by one Paul Walker: possibly the worst actor the United States has ever produced, no matter what Armond White says.