Armageddon (1998)

Posted in1990s, Action, Adventure, Authors: Bill Chambers, Directors: Michael Bay, Sci-Fi, Theatrical, Thriller

½*/****
starring Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck
written by Jonathan Hensleigh and J.J. Abrams
directed by Michael Bay

by Bill Chambers It rocks–actually, lots of rocks fly at us or away from us, in slow or fast motion, at several points in Armageddon. They seem like dangerous rocks because they kind of twirl through the air instead of just propelling forward, and when they make landfall–once in a while, when we need a break from the outer-space sequences–they cause damage enough to destroy the Chrysler building. (Nary a mention of these apocalyptic events is made after they occur.) Rocks might also be the most interesting element of Armageddon, a steroid abuser's answer to Deep Impact.

Desperado (1995) [Deluxe Widescreen Presentation] – DVD

Posted in1990s, Action, Authors: Vincent Suarez, Crime, Drama, DVD, Mexico, Thriller, Western

**/**** Image A Sound A
starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Joaquim de Almeida, Steve Buscemi
written and directed by Robert Rodriguez

by Vincent Suarez With 1993’s El Mariachi, director Robert Rodriguez wowed critics and arthouse audiences with his sheer talent and passion for filmmaking. Shot on a budget of merely $7,000 and with a cast and crew of Rodriguez’s friends, El Mariachi was a gleefully amateurish work of pure cinema. Upon garnering awards and praise at the Sundance Film Festival, Columbia Pictures agreed to distribute the film and finance Rodriguez’s Hollywood debut. Which prompted one to ask what Rodriguez could accomplish with a real budget and real talent at his disposal. Desperado (1995) provided the answer to that question: not much. Essentially a remake of El Mariachi, Desperado is full of the glitz and flashiness that one would expect of a visceral filmmaker like Rodriguez but has none of the heart or joy of El Mariachi. It’s a “cool” movie that leaves the viewer feeling…well, cold.

Godzilla (1998)

Posted in1990s, Action, Authors: Bill Chambers, Japan, Sci-Fi, Theatrical, Thriller, ZERO STARS

Reposted in the interest of posterity and synergy, despite not being very well-written.-Ed.

ZERO STARS/****
starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, Godzilla
screenplay by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich
directed by Roland Emmerich

by Bill Chambers The partnership of Roland Emmerich and Dean Devlin yielded a giant box office hit last time out with their alien invasion picture Independence Day, a film critically dissed in large part because it was populated with stereotypes: we knew who the smart guy was because he wore glasses and a pocket-protector; who the gay guy was because Harvey Fierstein's dialogue was set to flaming; who the hero was because he promised to "whoop E.T.'s ass." This time out, Devlin and Emmerich have solved that problem by making no attempts whatsoever to define their stable of characters. Not only is New York City a shambles when Godzilla is through, so is Godzilla, a disaster picture in every sense of the word. This may be the most uncompelling summer movie contender in the history of the sport.