The Fly/The Fly 2 [Fox Double Feature] – DVD

September 12, 2000Posted in1980s, Authors: Vincent Suarez, Canada, Directors: David Cronenberg, Drama, DVD, France, Horror, Romance, Sci-Fi, UK

THE FLY (1986)
***½/**** Image A Sound B
starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, John Getz
screenplay by Charles Edward Pogue and David Cronenberg
directed by David Cronenberg

The Fly II (1989)
*/**** Image B- Sound B
starring Eric Stoltz, Daphne Zuniga, Lee Richardson, Harley Cross
screenplay by Mick Garris and Jim & Ken Wheat and Frank Darabont
directed by Chris Walas

by Vincent Suarez

“Long live the new flesh.” — Max Renn, David Cronenberg’s Videodrome (1983)

“I must not know enough about the flesh. I’ve got to learn more.” — Seth Brundle, David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986)

“I want it out of my body … now!” — Veronica Quaife, David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986)

SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. David Cronenberg’s most memorable and profound films are a unique blend of fascination, celebration, inquisitiveness, and horror with regard to the possibilities of the flesh. Hollywood’s most memorable and profound monster movies (Bride of Frankenstein, King Kong (1933), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)) are a similarly mystical mingling of romance, repulsion, and overwhelming sympathy with regard to the creature. It’s no wonder, then, that Cronenberg’s The Fly is essentially the genetic splicing of his trademark obsessions with these hallowed genre conventions. In making the material his own, the pathos generated by Cronenberg’s fusion of elements raises the film’s status from mere remake of the campy 1958 original to masterpiece.

Here on Earth (2000) – DVD

August 7, 2000Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, DVD, Romance, Teen

*/**** Image B+ Sound B
starring Chris Klein, Leelee Sobieski, Josh Hartnett, Annette O'Toole
screenplay by Michael Seitzman
directed by Mark Piznarski

by Bill Chambers In Here on Earth, prep-school valedictorian Kelley (Chris Klein) leaves campus after curfew in his new Mercedes and gets embroiled in a game of chicken that winds up leaving the small town next door short one gas station ("here on Earth" even Hallmark movies have explosions) and restaurant. Kelley and the other boy, a local with permanent bedhead named Jasper (Josh Hartnett), are sentenced to a summer of rebuilding the diner, which I'm sure sounds like wise, character-building justice until the headline "ROOF OF RESTAURANT BUILT BY TEENAGE RIVALS WITH NO CONSTRUCTION EXPERIENCE COLLAPSES, KILLING PATRONS." A girl comes between them, the latter's long-time sweetheart Sam (Leelee Sobieski). She spies on the preppie delivering the graduation speech he could've made to the birds and the trees, and is touched enough to want to jump his bones.

The Beach (2000) [Special Edition] – DVD

July 24, 2000Posted in2000s, Adventure, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, DVD, Romance, Thriller, UK

**½/**** Image A+ Sound A Extras B+
starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda Swinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Guillaume Canet
screenplay by John Hodge, based on the book by Alex Garland
directed by Danny Boyle

by Bill Chambers When we meet Richard, the U.S.-born narrator/hero of The Beach, he has succumbed to the idea that finding adventure necessitates getting the hell out of his homeland–drinking snake's blood and sleeping with roaches play pleasantly into his romantic notions of danger. And as he roams the steamy streets of Bangkok in search of the next hedonistic-masochistic delight, Richard appears cutely oblivious to the American infiltration of Asian culture ("The Simpsons" episodes on TV, the constant bubblegum music sounding from ghetto blasters, etc.). The Beach is about how we as earthlings can't escape Western civilization, and the futility of trying.

Minnie and Moskowitz (1971) – DVD

June 7, 2000Posted in1970s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Esoterica, Romance

**/**** Image A- Sound B
starring Gena Rowlands, Seymour Cassel, Val Avery, Timothy Carey
written and directed by John Cassavetes

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover The experience of seeing Minnie and Moskowitz is like asking for a glass of milk and receiving a tequila shooter. Both might do good things for you in separate circumstances, but they are far from interchangeable. Similarly, the simple pleasures of a boy-meets-girl movie and the method bombast of John Cassavetes have their times and places, but they run on entirely different schedules. When the two actually collide, as they do in Minnie and Moskowitz, the cataclysm is so great it cancels out anything good that might have come from either one staying on their own turf: the wispy romance plot is mangled beyond all recognition and the soulful Cassavetes style is left pounding on the walls, resulting in a singularly unpleasant parade of standard cliché and acting overkill that leaves neither side standing by the end.

The Bachelor (1999) – DVD

April 17, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Romance

*/**** Image A+ Sound A-
starring Chris O'Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Hal Holbrook, James Cromwell
screenplay by Steve Cohen
directed by Gary Sinyor

by Bill Chambers It begins with a misleading visual straight out of City Slickers: a herd of mustangs, all racing towards "a patch"–signifying single men trying to get laid. But no stud, we learn through voiceover, can evade marriage forever, and following the introduction of young entrepreneur Jimmie (Chris O'Donnell) and his happy, similarly-unwed circle of (male) friends, a quick montage intercuts scenes of holy matrimony seizing every last one of them–save Jimmie–with the wrangling of stallions.

Three to Tango (1999) – DVD

April 10, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Romance

*½/**** Image A Sound A-
starring Matthew Perry, Neve Campbell, Dylan McDermott, Oliver Platt
screenplay by Rodney Vaccaro and Aline Brosh McKenna
directed by Damon Santostefano

by Bill Chambers Unsurprisingly, Three to Tango was written some eight years before it finally went into production–the film has a dated preoccupation with homosexuality as Golden Farcical Opportunity. (I suspect that Rodney Vaccaro and Aline Brosh McKenna’s script, purportedly based on events that led to Vaccaro’s marrying his boss’s girlfriend, was fast-tracked only after The Birdcage became a box-office smash.) Imagine the insipid proposition of a politically corrected “Three’s Company”; why does hetero Oscar not speak up when his sexual orientation is first challenged? Because, silly: being gay is hilarious!

Drive Me Crazy (1999) – DVD

March 12, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance, Teen

**/**** Image B Sound A- Extras D
starring Melissa Joan Hart, Adrien Grenier, Stephen Collins, Ali Larter
screenplay by Rob Thomas, based on the novel How I Created My Perfect Prom Date by Todd Strasser
directed by John Schultz

by Bill Chambers I've seen so many bloody teen movies over the past two years that Drive Me Crazy felt like the beginning of a new semester. All my old friends were there–the jock, the rebel, the slut–and I once again looked forward to attending a prom, here called a "Centennial." Now and again, however, the film manages to tread, if not break, new ground as it recycles that old saw about an adversarial boy and girl who fall for their own love charade as they attempt to make former sweethearts jealous. Would you believe that every single one of its characters is (gasp!) insecure?

Trial and Error (1997) – DVD

January 10, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Jarrod Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Romance

***/**** Image A Sound B+
starring Michael Richards, Jeff Daniels, Charlize Theron, Jessica Steen
screenplay by Sara Bernstein & Gregory Bernstein
directed by Jonathan Lynn

by Jarrod Chambers Trial and Error starts off with some pretty stock situations. Charlie Tuttle (Jeff Daniels) is a lawyer, a Yale man who has just made partner at the firm and is engaged to the boss's daughter. He is absurdly uptight, his fiancée (Alexandra Wentworth) is a ridiculously controlling snob, his boss is a hard-nosed hard-case. In other words, everyone (to begin with) is a cartoon. Charlie's best friend since grade school, Richard Rietti (Michael Richards, a.k.a Kramer from "Seinfeld"), is a free-living actor with a wardrobe that relies heavily on flowered prints. Richard is Charlie's best man, despite pressure from his fiancée and her father to choose someone more, ahem, respectable.

Onegin (1999)

December 17, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, Romance, Theatrical, UK

***½/****
starring Ralph Fiennes, Liv Tyler, Toby Stephens, Lena Headey
screenplay by Peter Ettedgui and Michael Ignatieff, based on the poem "Yevgeny Onegin" by Alexander Pushkin
directed by Martha Fiennes

by Bill Chambers "When will the devil take me?" he asks rhetorically in a lulling voiceover. The spoiled title character of Onegin (pronounced Oh-negg-in) is waiting on death to relieve him after a lifetime of rapacious, caddish behaviour has left him soul-sick. Martha Fiennes's debut feature is–quite literally–filmed poetry (it's based on the epic Russian poem by Alexander Pushkin), a profound study of regret, of how we confuse shame with guilt.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) – DVD

October 5, 1999Posted in1960s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance

**/**** Image B+ Sound A-
starring Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Mickey Rooney
screenplay by George Axelrod, based on the novella by Truman Capote
directed by Blake Edwards

by Bill Chambers Would Paul Varjak (George Peppard) be in love with Holly Golightly if she didn’t look like Audrey Hepburn? That’s the question I kept asking myself as I watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the story of a batty woman who overcomes her personality enough to make her downstairs neighbour, a published author, fall for her. She’s a socialite too busy for housework; he’d be destitute if he didn’t have a sugar mama (Patricia Neal). Both are humoured by the champagne crowd, but ultimately, Paul can’t even afford a mid-priced gift for Holly when they go shopping together at Tiffany’s.

Cruel Intentions (1999) [Collector’s Edition] + Payback (1999) – DVDs

July 28, 1999Posted in1990s, Action, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, Drama, DVD, Romance, Teen, Thriller

CRUEL INTENTIONS
**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras A
starring Ryan Phillipe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair
written and directed by Roger Kumble

PAYBACK
**/**** Image A Sound A
starring Mel Gibson, Maria Bello, Gregg Henry, Lucy Liu
screenplay by Brian Helgeland and Terry Hayes, based on the novel The Hunter by Richard Stark
directed by Brian Helgeland

by Bill Chambers SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. The Mel Gibson revenge movie Payback and the teen romance Cruel Intentions have a surprising amount in common. For starters, they each represent the mainstream’s idea of a subversive night at the movies. Both films centre unapologetically on bastard antiheroes–if Payback and Cruel Intentions were intended as escapist entertainments, and I believe they were, then something like the “Quake” and “Doom” videogame mentality has invaded Hollywood filmmaking: Let’s spend the evening staring at a disposable world through the eyes of a misanthrope.

Love & a .45 (1994) – DVD

June 9, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, DVD, Romance, Thriller, ZERO STARS

Love and a .45
ZERO STARS/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras A-
starring Gil Bellows, Renee Zellweger, Rory Cochrane, Jeffrey Combs
written and directed by C.M. Talkington

by Bill Chambers Call it Naturally Boring Killers. Scaredy-cat, white-trash lovers Watty (Gil Bellows) and Starlene (Renee Zellweger) are so devoid of personality that, while on the lam, they keep talking about the exploits of other famous outlaw couples (Bonnie and Clyde, for instance). A pop detachment datestamps the piece: In 1999, 1994’s alternately violent and ironic Love and a .45 seems quaint. It’s also intolerable.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) – DVD

May 5, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance

**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Extras B+
starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey
screenplay by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron
directed by Nora Ephron

by Bill Chambers I'm no grammarian, but AOL's syntactical redundancy of a catchphrase "You've got mail!" has always been nails-on-a-chalkboard for me. Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail the movie is somewhat redundant, too: It bears more than a passing resemblance to the 1993 Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan-Ephron outing Sleepless in Seattle while also being the second remake of Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner, which I'm embarrassed to admit I've never seen. (Have since rectified.-Ed.)

Six Days Seven Nights (1998) – DVD

December 9, 1998Posted in1990s, Action, Adventure, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Romance

**/**** Image B+ Sound A-
starring Harrison Ford, Anne Heche, David Schwimmer, Jacqueline Obradors
screenplay by Michael Browning
directed by Ivan Reitman

by Bill Chambers Still smarting from back-to-back high-profile failures (the Arnie-gets-pregnant comedy Junior and the Billy Crystal/Robin Williams team-up Father's Day), director Ivan Reitman needed a hit, badly. In casting Six Days Seven Nights, he took out the closest thing to a living insurance policy you will find in Hollywood: Harrison Ford. For Ford's co-star and the female lead, he chose Anne Heche, who's spent a few years in the trenches (best friend and wife roles) gaining traction as the next Meg Ryan. Then Ford seemed to go through a mid-life crisis, sporting an earring and a hip new look on the talk-show circuit that felt like a rejection of his stoic image and the fans thereof. And Heche came out as a lesbian in a public declaration of love for Ellen DeGeneres. It created a lot of static for both their performances and audiences to overcome, yielding Reitman's third flop in a row. Does this mean Six Days Seven Nights is some buried treasure you'd be lucky to discover at the video store? Not really, because the movie is pretty unremarkable except as a PR train crash. Let's be honest: Reitman has coasted since Ghostbusters; sometimes he hits a double, but this is not one of those times.