Teenage Caveman (2001) – DVD

June 10, 2001Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Horror, Sci-Fi, Television, Thriller

**/**** Image B+ Sound B+ Extras D+
starring Andrew Keegan, Tara Subkoff, Richard Hillman, Tiffany Limos
screenplay by Christos Gage
directed by Larry Clark

by Bill Chambers Larry Clark’s first official foray into the horror genre, Teenage Caveman simply introduces gore to his usual hedonistic admixture. Part of Cinemax’s “Creature Features” line-up (glossy re-imaginings of Sam Arkoff monster movies overseen by Arkoff heir Lou, actress Colleen Camp, and F/X man Stan Winston), Teenage Caveman, if nothing else, handily demonstrates the auteur theory, as rather than suggest the work of a director-for-hire, the film evinces little regard for the series’ presumed directive.

Jaws 2 (1978) [Widescreen] – DVD

May 21, 2001Posted in1970s, Adventure, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Horror, Thriller

**½/**** Image A- Sound B Extras A-
starring Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Joseph Mascolo
screenplay by Carl Gottlieb and Howard Sackler
directed by Jeannot Szwarc

by Bill Chambers Some key players besides Roy Scheider stuck around for this second helping of Jaws, which accounts for the tonal continuity and touch of class that are absent in the subsequent sequels. Producers David Brown and Richard D. Zanuck prostituted their box-office sensation because, according to Brown in Jaws 2's DVD documentary, "We decided if we didn't make it somebody else would make it. We felt very protective about it." Screenwriter Carl Gottlieb again returned to do the production draft. Production designer Joe Alves exhumed, and expanded the scope of, Amity Island. John Williams adapted his indelible Jaws score for a more youth-oriented adventure. And on screen, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, and Bruce reprised their roles as Mrs. Chief Brody, the unconscionable mayor (who, in the movie's darkest joke, is still in power), and the mechanical shark, respectively.

If I Die Before I Wake (1996) – DVD

May 7, 2001Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, DVD, Horror, Thriller

if I die before I wake
***/**** Image C+ Sound C
starring Stephanie Jones, Muse Watson, Michael McCleery, Coryanne Sennett
written and directed by Brian Katkin

by Bill Chambers If I Die Before I Wake is not a guilty pleasure (and definitely not a pleasure, period), but it did provoke a very guilty reaction from me: one of admiration. Other critics have dismissed it outright, calling it cheap, classist, exploitative, even sick. Guess what? It is all of those things, yet I found the film to be an efficient button-pusher with impressively acute access to our emotions, and there is combustible tension in our heroine's plight that had me practically praying aloud for her safety. If I Die Before I Wake, unlike so much of modern schlock (believe me, I've seen my quota), is panic-inducing, which isn't nothing.

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) – DVD + CD

March 12, 2001Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Horror, Mystery, Thriller

*½/**** Image B+ Sound A Extras B-
starring Jeffrey Donovan, Kim Director, Erica Leerhsen, Tristine Skyler
screenplay by Dick Beebe and Joe Berlinger
directed by Joe Berlinger

by Bill Chambers Despite the brainy posturing of director/co-writer Joe Berlinger, Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 will probably never be canonized in a sequel debate, that lunchtime activity of film freaks everywhere which has brought a nerdish ascendancy to, among the handful, The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back. Why? Well, for starters, it’s pretentious as hell; when the DVD liner notes–written by no less than Berlinger himself–for a fast-tracked cash-grab include such descriptive phrases as “mollify the cynics” and “post-modern approach,” you know you’re in for everything but a good time.

In the Mouth of Madness (1995) – DVD

February 15, 2001Posted in1990s, Authors: Vincent Suarez, Directors: John Carpenter, Drama, DVD, Horror, Mystery, Thriller

John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness
*½/**** Image B+ Sound A- Extras C
starring Sam Neill, Jurgen Prochnow, Julie Carmen, Charlton Heston
screenplay by Michael DeLuca, from stories by H. P. Lovecraft
directed by John Carpenter

by Vincent Suarez John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness opens as John Trent (Sam Neill) is being dragged into an insane asylum, with characters making vague references to a seemingly-widespread epidemic of madness. After Trent covers his padded cell, face, and clothing with black crosses (an image featured in the trailer and which hooked me, proving that while a picture may be worth a thousand words, it may not be worth 95 minutes of one’s time), he recounts the events leading to his current state, and the film proceeds in flashback.

Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000) – DVD

February 5, 2001Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Canada, DVD, Horror, Mystery

*½/**** Image B Sound B Extras B
starring Jennifer Morrison, Matthew Davis, Hart Bochner, Joseph Lawrence
screenplay by Paul Harris Boardman & Scott Derrickson
directed by John Ottman

by Bill Chambers The absent piece of biographical info in John Ottman’s “talent file” on Columbia TriStar’s DVD release of his directorial debut, Urban Legends: Final Cut, is that the USC vet actually attended film school in a fairytale world of limited oversight and unlimited resources. This quasi-sequel to Urban Legend-minus-the-“s” is perhaps the least conscientious of modern slasher flicks by virtue of setting up myriad Spielberg wannabes for disappointment. It’s (just barely) amusing in that regard to people like myself who consider themselves “in the know,” but misleading to cineaste undergrads and the people who already hate them on principle.

What Lies Beneath (2000) [Widescreen] – DVD

January 29, 2001Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Travis Mackenzie Hoover, Directors: Robert Zemeckis, Drama, DVD, Horror, Mystery, Thriller

***/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras B
starring Harrison Ford, Michelle Pfeiffer, Diana Scarwid, Miranda Otto
screenplay by Clark Gregg
directed by Robert Zemeckis

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover What Lies Beneath isn't very nasty, but it's nice. The film takes Polanski-style horror, the kind where the environment itself seems to be falling apart and the individual has to navigate through miles of decay, and gives it a white-enamel Hollywood gloss that makes it fearfully cold and sinisterly antiseptic. It's a given from the get-go that this pure whiteness will, by film's end, be defiled by the blood of the innocent and the violence of the guilty. It's only a matter of time before it gets there, but the travel involved is bracing and loaded with suspense. While the end of What Lies Beneath wallows in some rather familiar horror-movie scare tactics, the rest of it is a nicely understated affair that cleverly plays on your nerves without relying too much on brutality or not enough on jolt.

Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

January 26, 2001Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, Esoterica, Horror, Luxembourg, Satire, Theatrical, UK, Vampire

**/****
starring John Malkovich, Willem Dafoe, Catherine McCormack, Eddie Izzard
screenplay by Steven Katz
directed by E. Elias Merhige

by Bill Chambers They certainly dressed the part in those days. As the pre-eminent German filmmaker F.W. Murnau, John Malkovich declares: “We are scientists engaged in the creation of memory.” On set, before the lamps are fired up and action is called, Murnau and his crew don tinted aviator goggles, looking as if they’re about to launch an atomic bomb. This was standard practice during cinema’s formative years, when it took an intense amount of light to satisfactorily expose an image. (It was not uncommon for those who didn’t take precautions to go blind later in life.) But Malkovich/Murnau is not describing costumes; he’s probably, in fact, speaking for the makers of the gothic comedy in which he appears as the catalyst, Shadow of the Vampire. Director E. Elias Merhige, working from a screenplay by Steven Katz, forges a new memoir of Nosferatu, Murnau’s unauthorized, silent-film-era take on Bram Stoker’s Dracula that was rumoured to star a real vampire.

The Fly/The Fly 2 [Fox Double Feature] – DVD

September 12, 2000Posted in1980s, Authors: Vincent Suarez, Canada, Directors: David Cronenberg, Drama, DVD, France, Horror, Romance, Sci-Fi, UK

THE FLY (1986)
***½/**** Image A Sound B
starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis, John Getz
screenplay by Charles Edward Pogue and David Cronenberg
directed by David Cronenberg

The Fly II (1989)
*/**** Image B- Sound B
starring Eric Stoltz, Daphne Zuniga, Lee Richardson, Harley Cross
screenplay by Mick Garris and Jim & Ken Wheat and Frank Darabont
directed by Chris Walas

by Vincent Suarez

“Long live the new flesh.” — Max Renn, David Cronenberg’s Videodrome (1983)

“I must not know enough about the flesh. I’ve got to learn more.” — Seth Brundle, David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986)

“I want it out of my body … now!” — Veronica Quaife, David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986)

SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. David Cronenberg’s most memorable and profound films are a unique blend of fascination, celebration, inquisitiveness, and horror with regard to the possibilities of the flesh. Hollywood’s most memorable and profound monster movies (Bride of Frankenstein, King Kong (1933), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)) are a similarly mystical mingling of romance, repulsion, and overwhelming sympathy with regard to the creature. It’s no wonder, then, that Cronenberg’s The Fly is essentially the genetic splicing of his trademark obsessions with these hallowed genre conventions. In making the material his own, the pathos generated by Cronenberg’s fusion of elements raises the film’s status from mere remake of the campy 1958 original to masterpiece.

The Omen (1976) [Special Edition] – DVD

September 4, 2000Posted in1970s, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Horror, Mystery, UK

***½/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras A-
starring Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw
screenplay by David Seltzer
directed by Richard Donner

by Bill Chambers I kind of enjoyed having nightmares as a child because they produced the most intense sensations then within my ken; the threat of death, as was so often the crux of these bad dreams, made me feel gloriously alive. Thus, when The Omen came into my life at the tender age of nine, it became an instant favourite, for it closely approximated the terrifying experiences I'd had with my eyes wide shut. In other words: it scared the pants off me.

Supernova (2000) [Never-Before-Seen R-Rated Version!] – DVD

August 21, 2000Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

*½/**** Image A- Sound A-
starring James Spader, Angela Bassett, Peter Facinelli, Lou Diamond Phillips
screenplay by David Campbell Wilson
directed by “Thomas Lee”

by Bill Chambers

“In the farthest reaches of deep space, the medical vessel Nightingale keeps a lonely vigil for those in trouble. When a frantic cry for help pierces the void, the crew responds with a near fatal, hyper-space dimension jump into the gravitational pull of a dying star. The disabled ship rescues a shuttlecraft containing a mysterious survivor and a strange alien artifact. Now the crew must unravel a chilling secret and escape the nearby imploding star before the forming supernova blasts them and the entire galaxy into oblivion!”
–Supernova DVD jacket synopsis

“If you can’t take the heat, get out of the universe!” –Supernova trailer tagline

Common Hollywood practice: In pursuit of an inclusionary MPAA rating (be it G, PG, or PG-13), a motion picture, irrespective of subject matter, is toned down for its theatrical release, only to see the excised footage restored for home video, because nothing moves tapes faster than the great Unrated promise. Both are commercial considerations to maximize profit: it’s a notorious marketing paradox that allows the studio to have its cake and eat it, too–to seem like arbiters of good taste during the period of heaviest public scrutiny, and then to exploit the repressed appetites of the renting public.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) – DVD

May 22, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Directors: Tim Burton, DVD, Fantasy, Germany, Horror, Mystery

**/**** Image A+ Sound A Extras C+
starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon
screenplay by Andrew Kevin Walker
directed by Tim Burton

by Bill Chambers Googly eyes that spring forth from a ghoulish figure. A burning windmill. Ghostly choir music. Jeffrey Jones. Sleepy Hollow is Tim Burton's Greatest Hits. The trouble with most compilation albums is that they're superficial, a bunch of songs connected by one flimsy context: retrospection. If this latest gloomfest from Burton doesn't make you yearn for the days when you were witnessing his directorial flourishes for the first time, we saw different films. The storytelling is as shallow as the setting is hollow.

American Movie (1999) [Special Edition] – DVD

May 22, 2000Posted in****/****, 2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Documentary, Drama, DVD, FFC Must-Own, Horror, Short Films

****/**** Image A- Sound B Extras A
directed by Chris Smith

Mustownby Bill Chambers You can imagine, as a virgin does sex, what it’s like to make a movie, but until you do it, you’ll never really know. In film school, I directed a couple of shorts–nothing you’ve seen, but that’s beside the point: American Movie reminded me of why I hate making movies and why I miss it all the same. For me, watching this picture was a religious experience: Our (debatable) class differences notwithstanding, I don’t know that I’ve ever identified with a screen character more than I did real-life struggling hyphenate Mark Borchardt. For non-directors, American Movie offers plenty of Fargo-style behavioral laughs, and it may kick-start the realization of your own elusive goals. This precious ode to fringe filmmaking pulls off the amazing feat of being accessible and specialized at once.

The Hidden (1987) – DVD

May 15, 2000Posted in1980s, Authors: Vincent Suarez, DVD, Horror, Sci-Fi, Thriller

***/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras B
starring Kyle MacLachlan, Michael Nouri, Claudia Christian
screenplay by Bob Hunt
directed by Jack Sholder

by Vincent Suarez The plot elements of screenwriter Jim Kouf’s (here hiding his identity behind the pseudonym Bob Hunt) science-fiction thriller The Hidden are so basic, so endemic to the genre, that the shape they take is largely dependent on the era in which they find expression. In the golden age of sci-fi, the 1950s, this tale of a malevolent alien being–with political aspirations, no less–transforming a bevy of formerly benign human hosts into murderers would have perfectly complemented “Red Scare” allegories like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 20 years later, director David Cronenberg’s oft-explored themes of biological horror would have melded nicely with the gorier aspects of the alien’s existence. Today, the sci-fi/detective ingredients of the story might make for a classic episode of “The X-Files”. As it stands, Jack Sholder’s eerie and effective The Hidden is very much a product of its time, the late-1980s, in ways that are both flattering and detrimental.

Scream 3 (2000)

February 5, 2000Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Horror, Mystery, Theatrical, Wes Craven

*/****
starring Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox Arquette, David Arquette, Parker Posey
screenplay by Ehren Kruger
directed by Wes Craven

by Bill Chambers Miramax "disinvited" online media from press screenings of Scream 3. They ostensibly feared that folks like me would write spoiler-filled reviews and post them prior to the film's February 4th release date–unsound reasoning. You see, 'net critics established enough to be on any sort of VIP list are professionals–Miramax surely knows the difference between an upstanding member of The On-Line Film Critics Society (OFCS) and the type of fanboy who submits spy reports to Ain't It Cool News. No, the 'mini major' was afraid we'd let a bigger cat out of the bag than whodunit: that Scream 3 is a dismal conclusion to the beloved (by this writer, at least) franchise.

Stephen King’s Storm of the Century (1999) – DVD

June 22, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Canada, Drama, DVD, Horror, Stephen King, Television, Thriller

Storm of the Century
**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Commentary A-
starring Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Debrah Farentino, Casey Siemaszko
teleplay by Stephen King
directed by Craig R. Baxley

by Bill Chambers Donald Trump probably hears it every time he gets a divorce: “Give me what I want and I will go away.” Stephen King, prolific author of books beautiful (The Green Mile serial) and banal (Insomnia), recently wove a miniseries, the TV equivalent of an “event movie,” around this loaded demand. For three consecutive nights during last February’s sweeps week, viewers tuned in to Storm of the Century wondering what the psychic, psychotic Linoge (Colm Feore) could possibly want from the townsfolk of a New England inlet on the eve of a blizzard loosely inspired by the one that was christened “storm of the century” when it passed through the Eastern seaboard in 1993.