If These Walls Could Talk (1996) – DVD

April 9, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, DVD, Television

**/**** Image C+ Sound B
1952: starring Demi Moore, Catherine Keener, CCH Pounder, Jason London
teleplay by Nancy Savoca
directed by Nancy Savoca
1974: starring Sissy Spacek, Xander Berkeley, Hedy Buress, Janna Michaels
teleplay by Susan Nanus and Nancy Savoca
directed by Nancy Savoca
1996: starring Cher, Anne Heche, Jada Pinkett, Eileen Brennan
teleplay by I. Marlene King and Nancy Savoca
directed by Cher

by Bill Chambers Is one expected to insert the If These Walls Could Talk disc into a DVD player, or lace it through the gears of an old-fashioned Bell+Howell projector? The three-act HBO anthology, which revolves around the abortion debate, was shot on stock that appears to be of Seventies vintage even in sequences meant to take place in the Fifties and the Nineties, contributing to its classroom-instructional vibe as much as the message-oriented scripting.

Double Jeopardy (1999) [Widescreen] – DVD

March 26, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Canada, Crime, Drama, DVD, Germany, Mystery, Thriller

**/**** Image A Sound A Extras D+
starring Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd, Bruce Greenwood, Annabeth Gish
screenplay by David Weisberg & Douglas S. Cook
directed by Bruce Beresford

by Bill Chambers Imprisoned for the murder of her husband, whose apparently dismembered body was never recovered from the deep blue sea, Libby Parsons (Ashley Judd, who’s very good) calls her little boy from a phone bank and hears him say this: “Daddy!” It’s Double Jeopardy‘s most convincing moment, relying as it does on the ignorance of a child–so persuasive, in fact, that you may wonder at film’s end if it had been imported from another screenplay altogether.

Drive Me Crazy (1999) – DVD

March 12, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance, Teen

**/**** Image B Sound A- Extras D
starring Melissa Joan Hart, Adrien Grenier, Stephen Collins, Ali Larter
screenplay by Rob Thomas, based on the novel How I Created My Perfect Prom Date by Todd Strasser
directed by John Schultz

by Bill Chambers I've seen so many bloody teen movies over the past two years that Drive Me Crazy felt like the beginning of a new semester. All my old friends were there–the jock, the rebel, the slut–and I once again looked forward to attending a prom, here called a "Centennial." Now and again, however, the film manages to tread, if not break, new ground as it recycles that old saw about an adversarial boy and girl who fall for their own love charade as they attempt to make former sweethearts jealous. Would you believe that every single one of its characters is (gasp!) insecure?

Revenge of the Nerds/Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise [Fox Double Feature] – DVD

March 6, 2000Posted in1980s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Revenge, Teen

REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984)
***½/**** Image A- Sound B+
starring Robert Carradine, Anthony Edwards, Ted McGinley, Bernie Casey
screenplay by Steve Zacharias & Jeff Buhai
directed by Jeff Kanew

REVENGE OF THE NERDS II: NERDS IN PARADISE (1987)
½*/**** Image A- Sound B+
starring Robert Carradine, Curtis Armstrong, Bradley Whitford, Courtney Thorne-Smith
screenplay by Dan Guntzelman & Steve Marshall
directed by Joe Roth

by Bill Chambers One's great, the other ain't, and that's the truth, Ruth. Revenge of the Nerds, too often lumped in with the T&A comedies that flanked its theatrical release (Up the Creek, Porky's Revenge, et al.), is a cinematic gem of exemplary construction–one of the best, most empathetic teen movies with which John Hughes was not affiliated. Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, alas, sequelizes the trashy rep of its predecessor rather than the reality.

The Astronaut’s Wife (1999) – DVD

February 8, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, DVD, Sci-Fi, Thriller

**/**** Image A Sound B+
starring Johnny Depp, Charlize Theron, Joe Morton, Clea DuVall
written and directed by Rand Ravich

by Bill Chambers Given that it borrows liberally from Rosemary’s Baby and Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), it’s not surprising The Astronaut’s Wife feels so uninspired, yet it’s a tiny bit surprising that nothing of either their grim appeal or their gift for turning lurid genre concepts (devil cults and pod people, respectively) into something profound really stuck to the surface of this film. Underimagined and overdesigned, writer-director Rand Ravich’s feature debut seems the product of not enough writing and too much directing.

Brokedown Palace (1999) – DVD

January 29, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Drama, DVD, Mystery, Teen, Thriller

**/**** Image B+ Sound B+
starring Claire Danes, Bill Pullman, Kate Beckinsale, Lou Diamond Phillips
screenplay by David Arata
directed by Jonathan Kaplan

by Bill Chambers It’s somebody’s idea of a cruel joke: hire two of the most beautiful actresses in the known universe and slather them in grime and grit and stink for the better part of 100 minutes. While the characters don’t seem to mind (“I’ve had worse haircuts,” remarks Claire Danes’s Alice Marano of being sentenced to 33 years in a foreign prison–though her bob-crop is quite fetching), the intended audience for Brokedown Palace–teenagers unfamiliar with Midnight Express–had a rather adverse reaction to the thought of watching a couple of starlets wallow in a world of piss and roaches and Bill Pullman lawyers and Lou Diamond Phillips embassy officials, if the pitiful box-office is any indication. So why did they bother sanitizing it for younger viewers?

Trial and Error (1997) – DVD

January 10, 2000Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Jarrod Chambers, Comedy, DVD, Romance

***/**** Image A Sound B+
starring Michael Richards, Jeff Daniels, Charlize Theron, Jessica Steen
screenplay by Sara Bernstein & Gregory Bernstein
directed by Jonathan Lynn

by Jarrod Chambers Trial and Error starts off with some pretty stock situations. Charlie Tuttle (Jeff Daniels) is a lawyer, a Yale man who has just made partner at the firm and is engaged to the boss's daughter. He is absurdly uptight, his fiancée (Alexandra Wentworth) is a ridiculously controlling snob, his boss is a hard-nosed hard-case. In other words, everyone (to begin with) is a cartoon. Charlie's best friend since grade school, Richard Rietti (Michael Richards, a.k.a Kramer from "Seinfeld"), is a free-living actor with a wardrobe that relies heavily on flowered prints. Richard is Charlie's best man, despite pressure from his fiancée and her father to choose someone more, ahem, respectable.

The General’s Daughter (1999) [Widescreen Collection] – DVD

December 28, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, Drama, DVD, Germany, Mystery, Thriller

**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras B+
starring John Travolta, Madeleine Stowe, James Cromwell, James Woods
screenplay by Christopher Bertolini and William Goldman, based on the novel by Nelson DeMille
directed by Simon West

by Bill Chambers The General’s Daughter is prettified trash, a sulphur-coloured pulp movie of dubious ambitions. Undeniably effective in fits and starts, this adaptation of Nelson DeMille’s popular novel dies when it succumbs to the lurid urges of a too-visceral director. The nude body of Captain Elisabeth Campbell (Leslie Stefanson) has been discovered strangled to death on an army base in Georgia. Elisabeth’s father, vice-presidential hopeful General Joseph Campbell (!) (James Cromwell), summons beefy army cop Paul Brennan (John Travolta), an acquaintance of the deceased, to close the case before the FBI moves in–and before the media gets wind of the situation. Working with ex-girlfriend Sarah “Sun” Sunhill (Madeleine Stowe), Paul quickly uncovers the secrets of the late captain’s double-life as a dominatrix.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) – DVD

October 5, 1999Posted in1960s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance

**/**** Image B+ Sound A-
starring Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Mickey Rooney
screenplay by George Axelrod, based on the novella by Truman Capote
directed by Blake Edwards

by Bill Chambers Would Paul Varjak (George Peppard) be in love with Holly Golightly if she didn’t look like Audrey Hepburn? That’s the question I kept asking myself as I watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s, the story of a batty woman who overcomes her personality enough to make her downstairs neighbour, a published author, fall for her. She’s a socialite too busy for housework; he’d be destitute if he didn’t have a sugar mama (Patricia Neal). Both are humoured by the champagne crowd, but ultimately, Paul can’t even afford a mid-priced gift for Holly when they go shopping together at Tiffany’s.

Cruel Intentions (1999) [Collector’s Edition] + Payback (1999) – DVDs

July 28, 1999Posted in1990s, Action, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, Drama, DVD, Romance, Teen, Thriller

CRUEL INTENTIONS
**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras A
starring Ryan Phillipe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair
written and directed by Roger Kumble

BUY @ AMAZON.COM

PAYBACK
**/**** Image A Sound A
starring Mel Gibson, Maria Bello, Gregg Henry, Lucy Liu
screenplay by Brian Helgeland and Terry Hayes, based on the novel The Hunter by Richard Stark
directed by Brian Helgeland

BUY @ AMAZON.COM

Cruelintentionscapby Bill Chambers SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. The Mel Gibson revenge movie Payback and the teen romance Cruel Intentions have a surprising amount in common. For starters, they each represent the mainstream's idea of a subversive night at the movies. Both films centre unapologetically on bastard antiheroes–if Payback and Cruel Intentions were intended as escapist entertainments, and I believe they were, then something like the "Quake" and "Doom" videogame mentality has invaded Hollywood filmmaking: Let's spend the evening staring at a disposable world through the eyes of a misanthrope.

Heat (1995) – DVD

July 26, 1999Posted in1990s, Action, Al Pacino, Authors: Bill Chambers, Authors: Vincent Suarez, Crime, Directors: Michael Mann, Drama, DVD

***½/**** Image A Sound A- Extras B
starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Ashley Judd
written and directed by Michael Mann

by Vincent Suarez Michael Mann's Heat is a rare Hollywood action film, indeed. In an era in which the standard studio actioner consists of loosely-motivated bits of plot and character development that merely link one set-piece to the next, the explosive action sequences in Heat fittingly punctuate moments of genuine drama enacted by a wealth of interesting characters. Further, while today's action films are invariably vehicles for the likes of Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, et al, Heat is the rare studio action picture that, despite its own heavyweight stars, is truly an ensemble piece, cast and acted to perfection. And in an age when the standard Hollywood epic spends three hours glossing over the "major events" in its characters' lives, Heat confines its three hours to perhaps a few weeks of "real" time, allowing Mann (who produced, wrote, and directed) to present a drama that is epic in its emotional depth, if not in years.

Hurlyburly (1998) – DVD

June 28, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD

***/**** Image A Sound A- Extras B+
starring Sean Penn, Kevin Spacey, Robin Wright Penn, Chazz Palminteri
screenplay by David Rabe, based on his play
directed by Anthony Drazan

by Bill Chambers The word "hurlyburly" describes the thought processes of Eddie the Cokehead to a tee. As played by Sean Penn, hypersensitive Eddie is a wind-up toy that threatens to stroll right off the tabletop–he just doesn't let things go. At first, his behaviour smacks of self-absorption, narcissism, solipsism ("My biggest distraction is me," he tells a loved one). Eventually, we come to understand that Eddie is an existential Sherlock Holmes, desperate to get to the bottom of, quite literally, everything. Hurlyburly is about how a place like Hollywood can eat a person like Eddie alive, because there's no there there. What you see is what you get.

Stephen King’s Storm of the Century (1999) – DVD

June 22, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Canada, Drama, DVD, Horror, Stephen King, Television, Thriller

Storm of the Century
**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Commentary A-
starring Tim Daly, Colm Feore, Debrah Farentino, Casey Siemaszko
teleplay by Stephen King
directed by Craig R. Baxley

by Bill Chambers Donald Trump probably hears it every time he gets a divorce: “Give me what I want and I will go away.” Stephen King, prolific author of books beautiful (The Green Mile serial) and banal (Insomnia), recently wove a miniseries, the TV equivalent of an “event movie,” around this loaded demand. For three consecutive nights during last February’s sweeps week, viewers tuned in to Storm of the Century wondering what the psychic, psychotic Linoge (Colm Feore) could possibly want from the townsfolk of a New England inlet on the eve of a blizzard loosely inspired by the one that was christened “storm of the century” when it passed through the Eastern seaboard in 1993.

Gods and Monsters (1998) [Collector’s Edition] – DVD

June 14, 1999Posted in2000s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Biopic, Drama, DVD, UK

***/**** Image A Sound B Extras A-
starring Ian McKellen, Brendan Fraser, Lynn Redgrave, Lolita Davidovich
screenplay by Bill Condon, based on the novel Father of Frankenstein by Christopher Bram
directed by Bill Condon

by Bill Chambers Retired filmmaker James Whale (an uncanny Ian McKellen) invites his gardener, a young ex-Marine named Clay Boone (Brendan Fraser), into the drawing-room for drinks and cigars. The scene purposely recalls the one from Whale’s The Bride of Frankenstein in which Karloff’s Creature accepts a lonely blind man’s hospitality, only to sour things by erupting at the sight of an open flame because he’s terrified of fire. Likewise, hulky Clay cuts short his time with Whale when the director’s conspicuous, some might say flaming, homosexuality begins to disgust him. “Same difference,” James tells Clay. “Fear and disgust. All part of the same great gulf that stands between us.”

Love & a .45 (1994) – DVD

June 9, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Crime, DVD, Romance, Thriller, ZERO STARS

Love and a .45
ZERO STARS/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras A-
starring Gil Bellows, Renee Zellweger, Rory Cochrane, Jeffrey Combs
written and directed by C.M. Talkington

by Bill Chambers Call it Naturally Boring Killers. Scaredy-cat, white-trash lovers Watty (Gil Bellows) and Starlene (Renee Zellweger) are so devoid of personality that, while on the lam, they keep talking about the exploits of other famous outlaw couples (Bonnie and Clyde, for instance). A pop detachment datestamps the piece: In 1999, 1994’s alternately violent and ironic Love and a .45 seems quaint. It’s also intolerable.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) – DVD

May 12, 1999Posted in1990s, Action, Adventure, Authors: Bill Chambers, DVD, Sci-Fi, Star Trek, Thriller

*½/**** Image A Sound A+
starring Patrick Stewart, Brent Spiner, F. Murray Abraham, Anthony Zerbe
screenplay by Michael Piller
directed by Johnathan Frakes

by Bill Chambers Stardate: 12/13/98 Everything about this ninth entry in Star Trek's feature-film franchise seems on the cheap, from its Roger Corman-grade special effects (the series' worst since Star Trek V: The Final Frontier) to its highly derivative and ugly ad campaign (the poster is nearly identical to that for Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country). But Michael Piller's not-even-half-baked screenplay should ultimately claim responsibility for the failure of Star Trek: Insurrection. I'm about to give the same unsolicited advice to Trek producer Rick Berman that I've given to the financiers of James Bond movies: it's time to breathe life back into this workhorse by hiring solid genre writers and a real director. While we're at it, put that visor back on La Forge!

You’ve Got Mail (1998) – DVD

May 5, 1999Posted in1990s, Authors: Bill Chambers, Comedy, Drama, DVD, Romance

**½/**** Image A Sound B+ Extras B+
starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey
screenplay by Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron
directed by Nora Ephron

by Bill Chambers I'm no grammarian, but AOL's syntactical redundancy of a catchphrase "You've got mail!" has always been nails-on-a-chalkboard for me. Nora Ephron's You've Got Mail the movie is somewhat redundant, too: It bears more than a passing resemblance to the 1993 Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan-Ephron outing Sleepless in Seattle while also being the second remake of Ernst Lubitsch's The Shop Around the Corner, which I'm embarrassed to admit I've never seen. (Have since rectified.-Ed.)