The Beach (2000) [Special Edition] – DVD

**½/**** Image A+ Sound A Extras B+
starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tilda Swinton, Virginie Ledoyen, Guillaume Canet
screenplay by John Hodge, based on the book by Alex Garland
directed by Danny Boyle

by Bill Chambers When we meet Richard, the U.S.-born narrator/hero of The Beach, he has succumbed to the idea that finding adventure necessitates getting the hell out of his homeland–drinking snake's blood and sleeping with roaches play pleasantly into his romantic notions of danger. And as he roams the steamy streets of Bangkok in search of the next hedonistic-masochistic delight, Richard appears cutely oblivious to the American infiltration of Asian culture ("The Simpsons" episodes on TV, the constant bubblegum music sounding from ghetto blasters, etc.). The Beach is about how we as earthlings can't escape Western civilization, and the futility of trying.

Dead Again (1991) – DVD

***½/**** Image B Sound B Extras B
starring Kenneth Branagh, Emma Thompson, Andy Garcia, Derek Jacobi
screenplay by Scott Frank
directed by Kenneth Branagh

by Jarrod Chambers A convicted murderer on death row, about to be executed. A stolen pair of scissors, he lunges–a woman wakes up screaming. It was all a dream, or was it? The door opens, a flash of lightning, illuminating a silver cross dangling from the neck of an attendant nun.

Hanging Up (2000) – DVD

*/**** Image B Sound A- Extras C+
starring Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton, Lisa Kudrow, Walter Matthau
screenplay by Delia Ephron & Nora Ephron, based on the book by Delia
directed by Diane Keaton

by Bill Chambers In Hanging Up, only Eve, the middle child between two sisters, accepts responsibility for their ailing dad, and we wish that he–and his eldest and youngest daughters, for that matter–would die already so that Eve could go off and lead a life actually worth making/watching a movie about. As Eve, Meg Ryan is in typical perky-panic mode. What’s got her whipped into a tizzy this time? Well, a Nixon exhibit that she, a party planner, is hosting (a nod to co-writer Nora Ephron’s first husband, Watergate whistle-blower Carl Bernstein?), the impending death of her dementia-addled father (Walter Matthau, Dick Clark’s opposite in that he has always looked 80 years old), the fallout from a car accident, and the realization that her sisters (Diane Keaton and Lisa Kudrow) are complete and utter parasites are all converging at once. Eve juggles her responsibilities over the telephone, through convoluted multi-line conversations that give the film its title as well as its raison d’être.

Sweet and Lowdown (1999) – DVD

***½/**** Image A Sound C+
starring Woody Allen, Blythe Danner, Judy Davis, Mia Farrow
written and directed by Woody Allen

by Bill Chambers Woody Allen movies of late are eager to indict the creepy misanthrope who's been a staple of the writer-director-actor's oeuvre at least since Allen stepped into the shoes of Annie Hall's Alvy Singer. But in the final analysis, Allen has continued to pardon his alter egos, deflecting blame for their shortcomings by casting a negative light on everybody they know, too. If Sweet and Lowdown, the movie Deconstructing Harry wasn't ready to be, is any indication, the Woodman's work is, at last, becoming more nakedly confessional.

The Green Mile (1999) – DVD

**½/**** Image A Sound A Extras D
starring Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse, Doug Hutchison
screenplay by Frank Darabont, based on the serialized novel by Stephen King
directed by Frank Darabont

by Vincent Suarez In his review of The Thin Red Line, your host at FILM FREAK CENTRAL laments that viewers often are inclined to choose whether they prefer that film or its contemporary, Saving Private Ryan. I find that the same unfortunate phenomenon exists among those who’ve seen both of Frank Darabont’s first two films, The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile. (Curiously, Tom Hanks stars in each pair of films.) While the two share many traits (their prison setting, their writer-director, and their source material: short stories by Stephen King), they are vastly different films. For while The Shawshank Redemption is an institutional morality tale, The Green Mile is a death-row fairy tale.

F/X (1986) + FX2 (1991) – DVDs

F/X
**½/**** Image C+ Sound B-
starring Bryan Brown, Brian Dennehy, Diane Venora, Cliff DeYoung
screenplay by Robert T. Megginson & Gregory Fleeman
directed by Robert Mandel

BUY @ AMAZON.COM

FX2
**/**** Image B+ Sound B
starring Bryan Brown, Brian Dennehy, Rachel Ticotin, Joanna Gleason
screenplay Bill Condon
directed by Richard Franklin

BUY @ AMAZON.COM

by Bill Chambers F/X is only 14 years old, and yet it seems to be in a forgotten language like those modern-dress Shakespeare adaptations. I'm risking hyperbole here because practical effects are a dying art in the face of CGI. Today's motion-picture illusionist is primarily a computer animator, a trade that just doesn't lend itself to the sort of ingenuity the movie celebrates. The Tom Savinis of this world are rapidly becoming an endangered species.

Blue Collar (1978) – DVD

***/**** Image B- Sound C+ Commentary B+
starring Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel, Yaphet Kotto, Cliff DeYoung
screenplay by Paul Schrader & Leonard Schrader
directed by Paul Schrader

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Blue Collar gave me pause. On the one hand, it’s a no-excuses lambasting of management control and union corruption, railing against those who conspire to keep labour powerless and pliable. On the other, it offers no avenue for redress, throwing its protagonists’ lives out the window in an attempt to be modishly downbeat. The film is constantly at odds with itself, riling us into an angry mob while limiting the outlets for that anger, assuming that no political solution is possible and thus chopping everyone off at the knees. The result is a compulsively watchable film that never figures out what it’s trying to say, contained as it is within a boundary that keeps it from investigating the true nature of the problem.

Minnie and Moskowitz (1971) – DVD

**/**** Image A- Sound B
starring Gena Rowlands, Seymour Cassel, Val Avery, Timothy Carey
written and directed by John Cassavetes

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover The experience of seeing Minnie and Moskowitz is like asking for a glass of milk and receiving a tequila shooter. Both might do good things for you in separate circumstances, but they are far from interchangeable. Similarly, the simple pleasures of a boy-meets-girl movie and the method bombast of John Cassavetes have their times and places, but they run on entirely different schedules. When the two actually collide, as they do in Minnie and Moskowitz, the cataclysm is so great it cancels out anything good that might have come from either one staying on their own turf: the wispy romance plot is mangled beyond all recognition and the soulful Cassavetes style is left pounding on the walls, resulting in a singularly unpleasant parade of standard cliché and acting overkill that leaves neither side standing by the end.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) – DVD

**/**** Image A+ Sound A Extras C+
starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson, Michael Gambon
screenplay by Andrew Kevin Walker
directed by Tim Burton

by Bill Chambers Googly eyes that spring forth from a ghoulish figure. A burning windmill. Ghostly choir music. Jeffrey Jones. Sleepy Hollow is Tim Burton's Greatest Hits. The trouble with most compilation albums is that they're superficial, a bunch of songs connected by one flimsy context: retrospection. If this latest gloomfest from Burton doesn't make you yearn for the days when you were witnessing his directorial flourishes for the first time, we saw different films. The storytelling is as shallow as the setting is hollow.

American Movie (1999) [Special Edition] – DVD

****/**** Image A- Sound B Extras A
directed by Chris Smith

Mustownby Bill Chambers You can imagine, as a virgin does sex, what it’s like to make a movie, but until you do it, you’ll never really know. In film school, I directed a couple of shorts–nothing you’ve seen, but that’s beside the point: American Movie reminded me of why I hate making movies and why I miss it all the same. For me, watching this picture was a religious experience: Our (debatable) class differences notwithstanding, I don’t know that I’ve ever identified with a screen character more than I did real-life struggling hyphenate Mark Borchardt. For non-directors, American Movie offers plenty of Fargo-style behavioral laughs, and it may kick-start the realization of your own elusive goals. This precious ode to fringe filmmaking pulls off the amazing feat of being accessible and specialized at once.

The Hidden (1987) – DVD

***/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras B
starring Kyle MacLachlan, Michael Nouri, Claudia Christian
screenplay by Bob Hunt
directed by Jack Sholder

by Vincent Suarez The plot elements of screenwriter Jim Kouf’s (here hiding his identity behind the pseudonym Bob Hunt) science-fiction thriller The Hidden are so basic, so endemic to the genre, that the shape they take is largely dependent on the era in which they find expression. In the golden age of sci-fi, the 1950s, this tale of a malevolent alien being–with political aspirations, no less–transforming a bevy of formerly benign human hosts into murderers would have perfectly complemented “Red Scare” allegories like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. 20 years later, director David Cronenberg’s oft-explored themes of biological horror would have melded nicely with the gorier aspects of the alien’s existence. Today, the sci-fi/detective ingredients of the story might make for a classic episode of “The X-Files”. As it stands, Jack Sholder’s eerie and effective The Hidden is very much a product of its time, the late-1980s, in ways that are both flattering and detrimental.

Tom and Jerry’s Greatest Chases – DVD

Image B- Sound B-
“The Yankee Doodle Mouse,” “Solid Serenade,” “Tee for Two,” “Mouse in Manhattan,” “The Zoot Cat,” “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Mouse,” “The Cat Concerto,” “The Little Orphan,” “Salt Water Tabby,” “Kitty Foiled,” “Johann Mouse,” “Jerry’s Diary,” “Jerry and the Lion,” “Mice Follies”

by Bill Chambers As I waded through Tom and Jerry’s Greatest Chases, a perfectly enjoyable DVD compilation of postwar “Tom and Jerry” cartoons, I began to wonder why the eternally backbiting cat and mouse have not endeared and endured over decades to the extent that almost any combination of bickering Looney Toons has.

Back to School (1986) – DVD

**½/**** Image D+ Sound B-
starring Rodney Dangerfield, Sally Kellerman, Burt Young, Keith Gordon
screenplay by Steven Kampmann & Will Porter and Peter Torokvei & Harold Ramis
directed by Alan Metter

by Bill Chambers Rodney Dangerfield, alas, still gets no respect. Recently the comic was denied membership to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, allegedly on the basis of his profane turn as an abusive father in Natural Born Killers. (Gee, I thought demonstrating range and talent would be two guarantees of an actor’s admittance into the Oscar-voting body.) The poor showings for his last two screen outings, Ladybugs and Meet Wally Sparks, have perhaps permanently sealed Dangerfield’s fate as a Vegas stand-up.

The Bachelor (1999) – DVD

*/**** Image A+ Sound A-
starring Chris O'Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Hal Holbrook, James Cromwell
screenplay by Steve Cohen
directed by Gary Sinyor

by Bill Chambers It begins with a misleading visual straight out of City Slickers: a herd of mustangs, all racing towards "a patch"–signifying single men trying to get laid. But no stud, we learn through voiceover, can evade marriage forever, and following the introduction of young entrepreneur Jimmie (Chris O'Donnell) and his happy, similarly-unwed circle of (male) friends, a quick montage intercuts scenes of holy matrimony seizing every last one of them–save Jimmie–with the wrangling of stallions.

Three to Tango (1999) – DVD

*½/**** Image A Sound A-
starring Matthew Perry, Neve Campbell, Dylan McDermott, Oliver Platt
screenplay by Rodney Vaccaro and Aline Brosh McKenna
directed by Damon Santostefano

by Bill Chambers Unsurprisingly, Three to Tango was written some eight years before it finally went into production–the film has a dated preoccupation with homosexuality as Golden Farcical Opportunity. (I suspect that Rodney Vaccaro and Aline Brosh McKenna’s script, purportedly based on events that led to Vaccaro’s marrying his boss’s girlfriend, was fast-tracked only after The Birdcage became a box-office smash.) Imagine the insipid proposition of a politically corrected “Three’s Company”; why does hetero Oscar not speak up when his sexual orientation is first challenged? Because, silly: being gay is hilarious!

If These Walls Could Talk (1996) – DVD

**/**** Image C+ Sound B
1952: starring Demi Moore, Catherine Keener, CCH Pounder, Jason London
teleplay by Nancy Savoca
directed by Nancy Savoca
1974: starring Sissy Spacek, Xander Berkeley, Hedy Buress, Janna Michaels
teleplay by Susan Nanus and Nancy Savoca

directed by Nancy Savoca
1996: starring Cher, Anne Heche, Jada Pinkett, Eileen Brennan
teleplay by I. Marlene King and Nancy Savoca

directed by Cher

by Bill Chambers Is one expected to insert the If These Walls Could Talk disc into a DVD player, or lace it through the gears of an old-fashioned Bell+Howell projector? The three-act HBO anthology, which revolves around the abortion debate, was shot on stock that appears to be of Seventies vintage even in sequences meant to take place in the Fifties and the Nineties, contributing to its classroom-instructional vibe as much as the message-oriented scripting.

Double Jeopardy (1999) [Widescreen] – DVD

**/**** Image A Sound A Extras D+
starring Tommy Lee Jones, Ashley Judd, Bruce Greenwood, Annabeth Gish
screenplay by David Weisberg & Douglas S. Cook
directed by Bruce Beresford

by Bill Chambers Imprisoned for the murder of her husband, whose apparently dismembered body was never recovered from the deep blue sea, Libby Parsons (Ashley Judd, who’s very good) calls her little boy from a phone bank and hears him say this: “Daddy!” It’s Double Jeopardy‘s most convincing moment, relying as it does on the ignorance of a child–so persuasive, in fact, that you may wonder at film’s end if it had been imported from another screenplay altogether.

Drive Me Crazy (1999) – DVD

**/**** Image B Sound A- Extras D
starring Melissa Joan Hart, Adrien Grenier, Stephen Collins, Ali Larter
screenplay by Rob Thomas, based on the novel How I Created My Perfect Prom Date by Todd Strasser
directed by John Schultz

by Bill Chambers I've seen so many bloody teen movies over the past two years that Drive Me Crazy felt like the beginning of a new semester. All my old friends were there–the jock, the rebel, the slut–and I once again looked forward to attending a prom, here called a "Centennial." Now and again, however, the film manages to tread, if not break, new ground as it recycles that old saw about an adversarial boy and girl who fall for their own love charade as they attempt to make former sweethearts jealous. Would you believe that every single one of its characters is (gasp!) insecure?

Revenge of the Nerds/Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise [Fox Double Feature] – DVD

REVENGE OF THE NERDS (1984)
***½/**** Image A- Sound B+
starring Robert Carradine, Anthony Edwards, Ted McGinley, Bernie Casey
screenplay by Steve Zacharias & Jeff Buhai
directed by Jeff Kanew

REVENGE OF THE NERDS II: NERDS IN PARADISE (1987)
½*/**** Image A- Sound B+
starring Robert Carradine, Curtis Armstrong, Bradley Whitford, Courtney Thorne-Smith
screenplay by Dan Guntzelman & Steve Marshall
directed by Joe Roth

by Bill Chambers One's great, the other ain't, and that's the truth, Ruth. Revenge of the Nerds, too often lumped in with the T&A comedies that flanked its theatrical release (Up the Creek, Porky's Revenge, et al.), is a cinematic gem of exemplary construction–one of the best, most empathetic teen movies with which John Hughes was not affiliated. Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, alas, sequelizes the trashy rep of its predecessor rather than the reality.