The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987) – DVD

**/**** Image B+ Sound C
starring Anthony Newley, Mackenzie Astin, Katie Barbieri, "The Garbage Gang"
screenplay by Melinda Palmer & Rod Amateau
directed by Rod Amateau

by Alex Jackson I don't think that there is any getting around the fact that any true connoisseur of trash cinema has to see Rodney Amateau's The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. This was, after all, the feature film debut of Mackenzie Astin, a.k.a. the horny kid from "The Facts of Life", and of Spanish soap star Katie Barbieri. Just as the picture marked the start of a career for some, it marked the end of a career for others. The presence of child star, singer, and Joan Collins's bitchy ex-husband Anthony Newley is a chief selling point in the film's trailer, but he was on his way out. And The Garbage Pail Kids Movie was the last feature from television director Amateau, who seems to have viewed it as his own personal Fanny and Alexander, taking on writing and producing chores in addition to casting other Amateaus (J.P. and Chloe) in minor roles.

Hustle (1975) – DVD

½*/**** Image B+ Sound A-
starring Burt Reynolds, Catherine Deneuve, Ben Johnson, Paul Winfield
screenplay by Steve Shagan
directed by Robert Aldrich

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover In 1955, Robert Aldrich directed Kiss Me Deadly. Ending in a fiery conflagration that suggested the end of civilization, its chief selling point was the chance to watch a bunch of degenerates lose their last shred of decency. And because it transgressed norms that would not be fully shattered until a decade-plus later, it had a nasty kick that was hard to shake. Flash forward twenty years to 1975, and the director is in a bit of a bind: with norms everywhere falling like a stripper's pasties, it's clear that civilization has, indeed, come to an end–not with the bang of Kiss Me Deadly, but with the whimper of Hustle, a film that flaunts its creep credentials with such pathetic stridency that you can't even raise the enthusiasm to take offense. You're merely bored with a director whose raison d'être had been rendered obsolete.

The Bob Newhart Show: The Complete First Season (1972-1973) – DVD

Image B Sound B
"Fly the Unfriendly Skies," "Tracy Grammar School, I'll Lick You Yet," "Tennis, Emily?," "Mom, I L-L-Love You," "Goodnight Nancy," "Come Live with Me," "Father Knows Worst," "Don't Go to Bed Mad," "P-I-L-O-T," "Anything Happen While I Was Gone?," "I Want to Be Alone," "Bob and Emily and Howard and Carol and Jerry," "I Owe It All to You… But Not That Much," "His Busiest Season," "Let's Get Away From it Almost," "The Crash of 29 Years Old," "The Man with the Golden Wrist," "The Two Loves of Dr. Hartley," "Not With My Sister You Don't," "A Home is Not Necessarily a House," "Emily, I'm Home… Emily?," "You Can Win 'Em All," "Bum Voyage," "Who's Been Sleeping on My Couch?"

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Watching old movies, even when they're bad, is like watching our collective hopes and dreams speaking to each other as they drift into history. But watching old television, even when it's good, is like trying to decipher the messages from a distant and very stuffy alien race. I wanted so badly to rise to the level of "The Bob Newhart Show", because Newhart himself is very funny in a non-classical way. Alas, his show is strait-jacketed by an outdated format that current TV viewers (let alone moviegoers) will find utterly incompatible with anything that came after. Despite its self-image as being above the pack in intelligence, it's incredibly limited, to the point that you look at the cinema of the same era and wonder how they could ever be temporally linked.

Steamboy (2004) [Collector’s Gift Set] – DVD

*/**** Image C+ Sound A Extras B+
screenplay by Sadayuki Murai and Katsuhiro Otomo
directed by Katsuhiro Otomo

Steamboycapby Walter Chaw Katsuhiro Otomo's Akira is both the best and the worst thing ever to happen to anime in the United States. For the believer, its Blade Runner cyberpunk ultra-cool was an eye-opener, but to hold the film up as the standard for the medium means that a lot of people looking to it as their introduction believe that anime is a little excitement cordoned off by long stretches of confused, gravid exposition. It tries to condense hundreds of pages of metaphysical text into scientist characters delivering what seem like endless exchanges in high-minded gobbledygook. Akira's popularity obscures the finest examples of the medium, films that manage to balance serious metaphysical musing with actual forward momentum (the two Ghost in the Shell films, for instance); to tell adult tales in affecting ways (Grave of the Fireflies); to redefine genre thriller (Perfect Blue), action (Ninja Scroll), and fantasy (Princess Mononoke); and to present children's fables as artifacts that are as useful for adults as they are for kids (Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro). Akira isn't the greatest anime film, just the most well-known, and it's worth speculating how its notoriety may have retarded the maturation of American animation.

The Story of My Life (2004) – DVD

Mensonges et trahisons
Mensonges et trahisons et plus si affinités…

**½/**** Image B+ Sound A- Extras N/A
starring Edouard Baer, Marie-Josée Croze, Alice Taglioni, Clovis Cornillac
written and directed by Laurent Tirard

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Ugly flashbacks to the indie '90s are unavoidable when considering The Story of My Life (Mensonges et trahisons). This French rom-com integrates the worst of Woody Allen worship with the worst of pre-fame artist's angst: it practically screams that it wants to be taken seriously while making every effort to ensure that you don't, a tactic typical of the callow and the imprecise. But though it treats the artistic vocation as just another tony career move, the film has its charms as light entertainment, with a couple of appealing performances and some handsome design. If nothing else, The Story of My Life is proof positive that Canada has had the bad effect on Quebec export Marie-Josée Croze and not the other way around.

Father of the Bride (1991) [15th Anniversary Special Edition] – DVD

*/**** Image B- Sound B- Extras C-
starring Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Kimberly Williams, Martin Short
screenplay by Frances Goodrich & Albert Hackett and Nancy Meyers & Charles Shyer
directed by Charles Shyer

by Walter Chaw Ah, what could be better than 105 minutes of insipid sentiment laced with racism, homophobia, misogyny, and a relentless, ceaseless torrent of psychotic whining? Some films should come packaged with hypodermics full of insulin–Charles Shyer's Father of the Bride should furthermore contain instructions to jam those puppies right in the ol' eyeballs. Now if there were just something you could do about the whole hearing thing. Steve Martin writes smart books and was a time he performed smart routines: his work in All Of Me remains a high watermark for a certain kind of non-silent physical comedy that resurfaced for a while in the work of Jim Carrey and Jackie Chan. But beginning around the time of Father of the Bride, Martin, with a notable exception or two (The Spanish Prisoner, Joe Gould's Secret), embarked on the Eddie Murphy path of career resuscitation by transforming himself from one of the edgiest comics in the country into king milquetoast of the family-movie brigade–those baby blues, once so cunning in stuff like Pennies from Heaven, now set to glinting doll-like with Gene Wilder bathos as some vomitous Oompa-Loompa score paints us a picture of his bottomless empathy.

Dad (1989) – DVD

**/**** Image A- Sound A-
starring Jack Lemmon, Ted Danson, Olympia Dukakis, Ethan Hawke
screenplay by Gary David Goldberg, based on the novel by William Wharton
directed by Gary David Goldberg

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover When we talk about family dramas, we inevitably mean male-oriented family dramas. I can't remember the last time I saw a film in which three generations of women strengthened bonds and sought solace in each other, nor can I recall the last time a family of men and women interacted onscreen in a way that didn't toe the patriarchal line. In one sense, Dad is a reasonably decent member of the genus, relatively low-key and only marginally giving in to soap-opera fantasy. But its total erasure of anything that gets in the way of fathers relating to sons blows its credibility in a big way. It's as though half the human race either did not exist, or does so to bolster men–and God help you narratively if you dare to cross that divide.

Freaked (1993) – DVD

**/**** Image A- Sound B+ Extras C-
starring Alex Winter, Randy Quaid, William Sadler, Megan Ward
screenplay by Tim Burns & Tom Stern & Alex Winter
directed by Tom Stern & Alex Winter

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover I suppose it wouldn't take much to turn Freaked into a masterpiece–simply a viewer at the right age, watching it in the right dorm room, smoking the right amount of dope from the right Homer Simpson bong. Alas, those who watch the film straight and out of college are in for a rough ride. Despite the enthusiastic efforts of co-creators Tom Stern and Alex Winter (also the film's star), there's no denying that Freaked is a dog's breakfast of witless wit and sub-Fellini grotesquerie that's more assaulting than amusing. While I can give points for not being a character-building snooze like many a Hollywood comedy, there's simply too little intelligence here for it to become something substantial, leaving you stranded in a dated haze of DayGlo colours and the idea that walking Rastafarian eyeballs is the last word in hilarious.

House Calls (1978) – DVD

***/**** Image A- Sound A-
starring Walter Matthau, Glenda Jackson, Art Carney, Richard Benjamin
screenplay by Max Shulman & Julius J. Epstein and Alan Mandell & Charles Shyer
directed by Howard Zieff

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover House Calls is an unusually sharp entry in the normally anemic romantic comedy genre. Standard rom-com procedure is to be as inoffensive as possible, or at least sniggeringly condescending towards whatever is potentially offensive: that famous faux-orgasm in When Harry Met Sally… is a reminder to the audience that they're racy and adventurous, thus releasing them to be as uptight and cowardly as they really are. Not so House Calls, which possesses a surprising level of maturity while managing to take a few good shots at capitalist medicine. None of this is enough to help the film amount to more than a solid romantic comedy, but with such weak competition in the field, it can't help but look sparkling by comparison.

Invincible (2002) – DVD

***/**** Image A Sound A+
starring Tim Roth, Jouko Ahola, Anna Gourari, Jacob Wein
written and directed by Werner Herzog

by Walter Chaw With casting, in true Herzog fashion, being the lion’s portion of performance, Finnish strongman Jouka Ahola starring as legendary Jewish strongman Zishe Breitbart in Herzog’s Invincible is a stroke of inspired madness. Herzog fashions Ahola’s total lack of experience and guile into something like an ecstatic holiness. He’s done this before, of course, with madmen Bruno S. in The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser and Stroszek and the certifiable Klaus Kinski in some five astonishing pictures (astonishing not only for their quality, but also for the fact that there were five), so although extratextual complexity ever-threatens to become a distraction in Herzog’s films, it’s the sort of distraction that edifies Herzog’s preoccupation with blurring the distinction between performance and naturalism, fiction and documentary. No less so than in Invincible: The first time Herzog has returned to the pre-Bellum Nazi period in Germany since his directorial debut, Signs of Life, it pits one of Herzog’s classic social naïfs against a creature of pure manipulative malevolence, Hanussen (Tim Roth), who is, naturally, the kind of master showman/entertainer Herzog has always mistrusted.

The Machinist (2004) [Widescreen] + Enduring Love (2004) [Widescreen] – DVDs

THE MACHINIST
***/**** Image A- Sound A Extras B
starring Christian Bale, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, Michael Ironside
screenplay by Scott Kosar
directed by Brad Anderson

ENDURING LOVE
***/**** Image A Sound A
starring Daniel Craig, Rhys Ifans, Samantha Morton, Bill Nighy
screenplay by Joe Penhall, based on the novel by Ian McEwan
directed by Roger Michell

Machinistcapby Walter Chaw Sickness sweats out of every pore of Brad Anderson's The Machinist. It's leprous green, corpse flesh lit by sulphur light, marking the end of a progression that took Anderson from the sunny Happy Accidents to the sepia-inflected Session 9 to the bleak and subterranean–Plutonian, really–The Machinist. But like all of Anderson's work, the current film seems best described as coitus interruptus–congress interrupted at the moment of climax by the director's peculiar fixation on mendacity in favour of the supernatural. It's all about the tease for Anderson's genre explorations: time travel in Happy Accidents, haunted asylums in Session 9, and now–what, possession? Murderous blackouts? By plumbing the depths of human failings in a literal-minded fashion, one after the other (obsession, then greed, and finally guilt), Anderson ignores the possibility that genre is sharpest when wielded as metaphor for the same. Even the profession of machining speaks to the idea of precision and craftsmanship over flights of fancy or suspicions of otherness. It's a shame that The Machinist isn't ultimately more than an elaborate Rubik's Cube: not that hard to solve, not high on replay value.

The Pacifier (2005) [Widescreen] – DVD

½*/**** Image B+ Sound A- Extras D+
starring Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham, Faith Ford, Brittany Snow
screenplay by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant
directed by Adam Shankman

Pacifiercap

by Bill Chambers Three months after failing to return kidnapped professor Howard Plummer (Tate Donovan) to safety, Special Ops lieutenant Shane Wolfe (Vin Diesel) is assigned to stay with the late scientist's family while their mother (Faith Ford) visits Switzerland with Shane's superior (Chris Potter) to claim the contents of Howard's safety deposit box. Professor Plummer was killed over a piece of software named G.H.O.S.T. (though not in the pantry with a candlestick) now believed to have been stashed somewhere in his home; when the snot-nosed kids–vain Zoe (Brittany Snow), surly Seth (Max Thieriot), precocious Lulu (Morgan York, also one of the Cheaper by the Dozen brats), and reaction-shot fodder Peter (Keegan & Logan Hoover) and Baby Tyler (Bo & Luke Vink (and with "The Dukes of Hazzard"'s impending renaissance, boy are those two in for a rude awakening at the start of school))–grease the stairwell to take out Shane, they end up driving away their German nanny (a typically misused Carol Kane) instead, forcing Shane into a more maternal role and leaving him little time to search for the computer program.

I, Robot (2004) [Widescreen + All-Access Collector’s Edition] – DVDs

*/****
DVD – Image A Sound A+ Extras C
DVD (CE) – Image A Sound A+ Extras B-
starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, Bruce Greenwood, James Cromwell
screenplay by Jeff Vintar and Akiva Goldsman
directed by Alex Proyas

by Walter Chaw Alex Proyas makes movies about men who don’t know who they are. The Crow, Dark City, and, to an extent, his underachieving small-band-doesn’t-make-good dramedy Garage Days, feature main characters forced to come to terms with their identities before becoming empowered by them. It would appear, then, that Proyas is the perfect fit for the faux-philosophical science-fiction epic I, Robot, wherein a Luddite detective, played by Will Smith, struggles with his stupid past while an Aryan robot, played by Alan Tudyk, wonders if it’s a person. But instead of the existential grief of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, or even A.I., I, Robot is a mess of spare parts cannibalized from superior models and victimized by bad wiring. Poor Isaac Asimov is sparking in his grave–good thing the movie was only “suggested by a book by,” which at some point simply means “has the same title as.”

Paparazzi (2004) – DVD

ZERO STARS/**** Image A Sound A Extras D
starring Cole Hauser, Robin Tunney, Dennis Farina, Tom Sizemore
screenplay by Forrest Smith
directed by Paul Abascal

by Walter Chaw Loathsome doesn't begin to describe it. How about "toxic"? View Paparazzi and producer Mel Gibson's own The Passion of the Christ together for a better perspective on where Gibson's coming from these days. Better, view the two together for some insight into the way that martyr complexes sometimes metastasize into a belief that feelings of rage and vengeance are justifiable responses to the indignities of a world whose sole focus is to torture the privileged with wealth, adoration, and extraordinarily high levels of creature comfort. Paparazzi are no angels, what with the recent spate of highly-publicized incidents culminating in the accusation that one of the adorable little shutterbugs slammed his car into Lindsay Lohan's in order for his compatriots to snap a few shots of the starlet vehicle-free. But rather than deal in a serious fashion with the toll the paparazzi take on any individual's right to a certain measure of personal space and safety, Paparazzi chooses to offer an unironic manifesto that forgives the vigilante-style abuse of Gibson's very own personal Sanhedrin. The film is suspect from the trailers, and its horrific morality grows more noxious with prolonged exposure.

Best of “The Muppet Show”: Bob Hope, Dom DeLuise, George Burns (1977) – DVD

Image C+ Sound C Extras D

by Walter Chaw In a summer whose renewed interest in variety shows has brought us embarrassing spectacles ranging from a peculiar celebrity dance competition where ex-heavyweight champ Evander Holyfield does a Karloff in tuxedo pants to the hard-to-witness disinterring of moldy oldsters and one-hit-wonders croaking out their old hits and covering new ones, look back to the heyday of "The Muppet Show" and wonder how something like it ever made it to the air. The themes that Jim Henson's electric Kool-Aid acid trip tackles through its tacky sketches, instantly-dated guest stars, and cobwebbed musical interludes run the gamut from loneliness (a disturbing rendition of Jim Croce's "Time in a Bottle" in which a Muppet mutilates and pickles himself) to war (a version of Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth" sung by forest animals being terrorized by mad redneck hunters) to exotic burlesques that predict the melancholia lacing The Dark Crystal and the eternally underestimated The Muppet Movie. Running concurrently with Jimmy Carter's presidency (1976-1981), it's the product, as it can only be, of the Carter administration in the United States: all goofy good intentions, bad fashion, rampant hickism, and confusion.

Bedtime for Bonzo (1951) + I’ll Take Sweden (1965) – DVDs

BEDTIME FOR BONZO
**½/**** Image B Sound B+
starring Ronald Reagan, Diana Lynn, Walter Slezak, Jesse White
screenplay by Val Burton and Lou Breslow
directed by Frederick de Cordova

I'LL TAKE SWEDEN
*/**** Image A- Sound A
starring Bob Hope, Tuesday Weld, Frankie Avalon, Dina Merrill
screenplay by Nat Perrin, Bob Fisher and Arthur Marx
directed by Frederick de Cordova

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover FILM FREAK CENTRAL now heads into uncharted waters with the first auteurist assessment of one Frederick de Cordova. Yes, the man who inadvertently wedged his foot in pop history by bringing Ronald Reagan and a monkey together in Bedtime for Bonzo indeed has themes that remain consistent–at least in the fifteen years that intervened between that film and his Bob Hope vehicle, I'll Take Sweden. Both find a rigid father figure finally lightening up after aggravating bad situations with some abstract and inflexible rules. But while Bedtime for Bonzo bristles with surprise implications and rear-view Reagan desecrations, I'll Take Sweden lies dead on the screen thanks to terrible lines and unpleasant "racy" humour. Which means that whatever de Cordova's thematic uniformity, I suspect the Cinémathèque française monograph is not forthcoming.

Overnight (2004) – DVD

***½/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras C
directed by Mark Brian Smith & Tony Montana

by Walter Chaw Bordering on brilliant, Mark Brian Smith and Tony Montana's dry, witty, scabrous Overnight chronicles the rise and fall of grade-A asshole Troy Duffy as he meets his match in Hollywood, a land where being a legendary dick is something so run-of-the-mill that Duffy finds himself among the rabble instead of the king prick that he was on the little Boston hill he called his stomping ground. Duffy's rags-to-riches story (roughneck bartender sells a script to Miramax for a cool $450K in a deal that includes the bar he works at as well as an agreement that he'll direct with no studio interference) is the stuff from which dreams are made–but Harvey Weinstein puts the project in turnaround after just a few months of trying to work with the guy, and Duffy is left holding his paranoia and sense of entitlement in a twenty-ton bag. (I never would have thought it possible to make Harvey Weinstein appear not only the genius but also the sainted hero in a documentary about the film industry, but Duffy and his boilerplate bullshit The Boondock Saints are just the jerk and flick to do it.) There haven't been many movie villains with less political charisma and grace than Duffy has. In that one sense, if in no other, all his delusions of grandeur are justified.

The Women (1939) – DVD

***/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras B-
starring Norma Shearer, Joan Crawford, Rosalind Russell, Mary Boland
screenplay by Anita Loos and Jane Murfin, based on the play by Clare Boothe
directed by George Cukor

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Few films fall on their swords so cheerfully and brilliantly as The Women. It's a masterpiece of rationalization that details the injustices men inflict on women until it suddenly shifts gears to explain why it's a woman's fault for giving up–an astounding about-face considering that it was written by women (Anita Loos and Jane Murfin, from Clare Boothe's play) and aims to completely banish men from the frame. But what sounds like a chance for actresses to shine turns into a world-famous bitch-a-thon in which men are a menacing, structuring absence rather than a lion tamed and women can be trusted to tear each other apart before doing any real damage to their master-tormentors. The film is compulsively watchable even as it does terrible things and holds its head high whilst simultaneously cutting it off.

The Agronomist (2004) – DVD

***½/**** Image B- Sound B
directed by Jonathan Demme

by Walter Chaw Reminding a great deal of his remarkable Swimming to Cambodia, Jonathan Demme’s now-inspiring, now-shattering The Agronomist is another portrait of a doomed storyteller embellished with subtle audio cues and almost mnemonic camera movements–the stamps of a gifted filmmaker who may never be better than when he works with the stuff of real life. Demme is a superior anthropologist and only a so-so fabulist, his liquid cool visual acuity always second-fiddle, after all, to his gift for background flavour, i.e., the contextualizing power of the right music, the right settings, and the right personalities in supporting roles. Demme’s films are each documents of the underneath that find explication in hindsight in his apprenticeship underneath Roger Corman while simultaneously explaining how quickly his auteur identity and better judgment can be subsumed beneath too much legacy (The Truth About Charlie) or too devouring an ego (Oprah’s The Beloved)–making his upcoming remake of John Frankenheimer’s The Manchurian Candidate an iffy proposition at best. Demme is himself forever just a step away from his vivid gallery of outcasts and iconoclasts.

Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005) [Widescreen Edition] – DVD

*/**** Image A Sound A Extras C
starring Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, Terrence Howard, Joy Bryant, Bill Duke
screenplay by Terence Winter
directed by Jim Sheridan

by Walter Chaw Another in the recent cycle of slick biopics overseen in whole or part by either the subjects themselves or relatives of the same, Jim Sheridan's Get Rich or Die Tryin', the peculiarly flaccid hagiography of two-bit rapper 50 Cent, is an overlong, overly-familiar, wholly sentimental look at a nobody who became a somebody primarily known for getting shot a few times. It's a companion piece of sorts to the also-white-guy-directed Hustle & Flow, a means through which the majority culture tries to reconfigure the minority culture into comfortable terms (minstrel/criminal) that are so entrenched they've been assimilated by the offended. Assimilated to the point, in fact, that it's hard to know if these images, words, and messages are even offensive anymore. Bill Cosby has taken a lot of heat over the past couple of years for his comments about African-American culture losing its mind, but, shocker, he's right. For that matter, arguably no one in popular culture has earned the right to speak out about blacks in the American mainstream more than Cosby.