My Name is Earl: Season One (2005-2006) – DVD

My Name is Earl: Season One (2005-2006) – DVD

Image A Sound A- Extras B
“Pilot,” “Quit Smoking,” “Randy’s Touchdown,” “Faked My Own Death,” “Teacher Earl,” “Broke Joy’s Fancy Figurine,” “Stole Beer from a Golfer,” “Joy’s Wedding,” “Cost Dad an Election,” “White Lie Christmas,” “Barn Burner,” “O Karma, Where Art Thou?,” “Stole P’s HD Cart,” “Monkeys in Space,” “Something to Live For,” “The Professor,” “Didn’t Pay Taxes,” “Dad’s Car,” “Y2K,” “Boogeyman,” “Bounty Hunter,” “Stole a Badge,” “BB,” “Number One”

by Ian Pugh I don’t know a whole lot about the Buddhist concept of karma, but Earl Hickey knows even less, and I think that’s the point. As “My Name is Earl” begins, the titular petty criminal and leech on society (Jason Lee) scratches a winning lotto ticket, whereupon he’s immediately struck by a car. While a doped-up Earl convalesces, his cheating wife Joy (Jaime Pressly) seizes the opportunity to divorce him. Flipping through the TV channels from his hospital bed, Earl lands on Carson Daly, who attributes his own success to the most popular understanding of karma: “Do good things and good things happen to you. Do bad things and they come back to haunt you.” In the show’s first bit of hilarious commentary–one that guides the question of “doing the right thing” (which, in turn, dictates the series as a whole)–celebrity culture gives birth to self-serving pop religion. If Joe Sixpack is taking philosophical lessons from that guy whose primary function was to count down from the number ten…Lord, where did we go wrong?

The Addams Family: Volume One (1964-1965) + Bones: Season One (2005-2006) – DVDs

THE ADDAMS FAMILY: VOLUME ONE
Image B Sound B- Extras B+
“The Addams Family Goes to School,” “Morticia and the Psychiatrist,” “Fester’s Punctured Romance,” “Gomez, the Politician,” “The Addams Family Tree,” “Morticia Joins the Ladies League,” “Halloween with the Addams Family,” “Green-Eyed Gomez,” “New Neighbors Meet the Addams Family,” “The Addams Family Meets the V.I.P.s,” “Morticia, the Matchmaker,” “Lurch Learns to Dance,” “Art and the Addams Family,” “The Addams Family Meets a Beatnik,” “The Addams Family Meets the Undercover Man,” “Mother Lurch Visits the Addams Family,” “Uncle Fester’s Illness,” “The Addams Family Splurges,” “Cousin Itt Visits the Addams Family,” “The Addams Family in Court,” “Amnesia in the Addams Family”

BONES: SEASON ONE
Image A Sound A+ Extras C-
“Pilot,” “The Man in the S.U.V.,” “A Boy in a Tree,” “The Man in the Bear,” “A Boy in a Bush,” “The Man in the Wall,” “The Man on Death Row,” “The Girl in the Fridge,” “The Man in the Fallout Shelter,” “The Woman in the Airport,” “The Woman in the Car,” “The Superhero in the Alley,” “The Woman in the Garden,” “The Man on the Fairway,” “Two Bodies in the Lab,” “The Woman in the Tunnel,” “The Skull in the Desert,” “The Man with the Bone,” “The Man in the Morgue,” “The Graft in the Girl,” “The Soldier in the Grave,” “The Woman in Limbo”

by Ian Pugh Charles Addams’s darkest cartoons for THE NEW YORKER were routinely hilarious, not just for their brazen denial of the nuclear family unit, but also because, unlike so many of the publication’s other strips, they take their one-panel restrictions to heart without coming off as smarmy. Moreover, Addams’s scenarios were simple without being stupid, e.g., family of ghouls about to dump boiling oil on Christmas carollers. The problem in turning these characters into a half-hour sitcom, namely “The Addams Family”, should be self-evident: it bloats the brisk silliness into a particularly tiresome game of “Opposite Day”–thirty minutes of a family that cheerfully approves of the macabre and homicidal while despising normalcy and respectability.

The Promise (2005) – DVD (U.S. version)

The Promise (2005) – DVD (U.S. version)

*/**** Image A Sound A- Extras C
starring Hiroyuki Sanada, Jang Dong Gun, Cecilia Cheung, Nicholas Tse
screenplay by Chen Kaige and Zhang Tan
directed by Chen Kaige

by Walter Chaw Any fad reaches its nadir in due time, and the Western wuxia infatuation, which started somewhere around Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and more or less peaked with Zhang Yimou’s exceptional Hero, has found its basement in the truncated version of Chen Kaige’s already-pretty-embarrassing The Promise. Somewhere, King Hu is spinning in his grave. An abomination just about any way you slice it, this ultra-expensive, CGI’d-to-exhaustion wire-fu epic–especially as sanitized for North America’s consumption–suggests the world’s saddest public display of penis envy. Chen, hailing from the same Fifth Generation school as Zhang, produces a show-offy, self-indulgent bit of flamboyant one-upsmanship destined to become a queer camp classic. When the Crimson General (Hiroyuki Sanada) trades in his fabulous duds for a lavender muumuu in which to trade barbs with archenemy Wuhuan (Nicholas Tse, suspended somewhere between pretty girl and Japanese anime hero), a bad guy garbed in white feathers who wields a gold staff topped with a bronze hand, index finger extended in proctological menace, the homoeroticism of the piece–already distracting in the subtext–suddenly becomes the main event. It’s probably this unfathomable cut of the film’s Rosetta Stone, in fact, pared down to some half-assed companion piece to Chen’s own Farewell My Concubine. Without much strain, you can see The Promise being transformed, in all its kitsch excess, into a Broadway pop-opera: Memoirs of a Geisha: The Musical.

The Girls Next Door: Season One (2005) + Stacked: The Complete Series (2005-2006) – DVDs

THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR: SEASON ONE
Image A Sound A Extras D+
“Meet the Girls,” “New Girls in Town,” “Happy Birthday, Kendra,” “What Happens in Vegas,” “Fight Night,” “Operation Playmate,” “Just Shoot Me,” “Midsummer Night’s Dream,” “Under the Covers,” “Ghostbusted,” “Grape Expectations,” “I’ll Take Manhattan,” “My Kind of Town,” “Clue-Less,” “It’s Vegas Baby!”


STACKED: THE COMPLETE SERIES
Image B+ Sound C Extras D
“Pilot,” “Beat the Candidate,” “A Fan for All Seasons,” “Gavin’s Pipe Dream,” “The Ex-Appeal,” “Nobody Says I Love You,” “Two Faces of Eve,” “Darling Nikki,” “Crazy Ray,” “iPod,” “Heavy Meddle,” “Goodwizzle Hunting,” “After Party,” “Romancing the Stones,” “You’re Getting Sleepy,” “The Third Date,” “The Day the Music Died,” “Poker,” “The Headmaster”

by Ian Pugh I’m pretty sure it was Jon Stewart who described “lad mags” like MAXIM and STUFF as “porn for people too timid to buy porn,” and under that category we could probably also file PLAYBOY reality series “The Girls Next Door” and the Pamela Anderson sitcom “Stacked”: softcore pap for those too afraid to have God’s honest filth appear on their rental history or cable bill. I’m inclined to believe those same people are apt to use the phrase “turn your brain off” while justifying their love of these silicone parades–which in this case means, what, “shut up and masturbate”? PLAYBOY and Anderson are both cultural artifacts and thus demand scrutiny; protest, however, and you’ll just be dismissed as a double-plus-bad thought cop bringing intelligence to a discussion where it isn’t wanted. You know, the brainiac killjoy who has to say, “Why are you watching this garbage?” The programs themselves shout you down, in fact, before you have a chance to complain: each invokes Shakespeare on a whim (“Girls” in a party and episode named for “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, “Stacked” in one of its sarcastic faux-intellectual quotations)–not for any genuine comparison, but as a surrogate for intelligence, introduced for the sole purpose of deriding it as impertinent. You’re the idiot, apparently, for harbouring the desire for something substantial out of one of the most widespread and influential media of the last century.

Takeshis’ (2005) – DVD

Takeshis’ (2005) – DVD

**/**** Image B Sound B
starring Takeshi Kitano, Kotomi Kyono, Kayoko Kishimoto, Ren Osugi
written and directed by Takeshi Kitano

by Walter Chaw Midway between Fellini’s and Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz is Japanese auteur Takeshi Kitano’s Takeshis’, a film that indicates with its possessive title that it belongs to both the director (Takeshi Kitano) and star (“Beat” Takeshi); acknowledging that they’re one and the same (Kitano is billed as the former when he directs, the latter when he performs), they each have a function and persona unique unto themselves. The burden of that division, which Takeshi has taken on since midway through Violent Cop, is illustrated in the picture as a series of fractures that meld reality with televisual reality and filmic reality–nothing so ostentatious as Sven Nykvist and Ingmar Bergman reflected in a mirror in Persona, but going so far as to have “Beat” Takeshi, dressed as a clown, refer to Takeshi Kitano as “that asshole.” The omniscience of the director is referred to often in the text as casting directors (rather, actors playing casting directors, or casting directors playing themselves) remark that Yakuza never look like Kitano (who has made something of a name for himself as a Yakuza: he’s a little like the Japanese Robert De Niro)–and yet the central narrative of the picture then involves the slow evolution of the actor who looks like Kitano into Takeshi Kitano’s Yakuza persona. Kitano is thus marking the difference between the devices of the director and the relatively passive objectification that is the primary definition of an actor–between the godhead inscrutable and the subject humiliated, as well as the eventual bleed-through between the roles actors assume and the mold into which perception forces them.

Conversations with Other Women (2005) – DVD

**½/**** Image A- Sound A Extras B
starring Aaron Eckhart, Helena Bonham Carter, Nora Zehetner, Eric Eidem
screenplay by Gabrielle Zevin
directed by Hans Canosa

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover There's no real arguing with Conversations with Other Women–you either buy into its common program of relationship angst and mid-life crisis or you don't. Although director Hans Canosa tries to juice things up with a split-screen technique that's less unctuous than the description might suggest, it's still the same Woody Allen-ish trip through romantic failure via witty banter. There's an extent to which this can be entirely watchable, and at no point does the film grind to a halt and become a chore to sit through. Its concept is a tad far-fetched, however, and the insights gleaned from the chance encounter of two people at a wedding reception are nothing you can't find in the pages of any major glossy mag.

Lady in the Water (2006) + Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005)|Lady in the Water [Widescreen Edition] – DVD

LADY IN THE WATER
ZERO STARS/**** Image B+ Sound A Extras B-
starring Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Bob Balaban, Jeffrey Wright
written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Chinjeolhan geumjassi
****/****
starring Lee Yeong-ae, Choi Min-sik, Kim Shi-hoo, Kwon Yea-young
written and directed by Park Chanwook

by Walter Chaw The creeping, inescapable feeling is that M. Night Shyamalan would like to be known as “M. Christ Shyamalan”: a guy who wants you to drink the Kool-Aid; a messiah with a shrinking flock preaching a platform that his increasingly deluded, astonishingly arrogant fables are actually themselves the secret to world peace. He claims to hear voices–the first couple of times he did so (here in the stray interview, there in The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan, that abhorrent mock-documentary he did for the Sci-Fi Channel), I thought he was kidding. Hell, the first couple of times he did it, he probably was kidding. But I don’t think he’s kidding anymore. And there’s no longer any currency in playing this ethereal shaman card. Prancing about like a mystic while shitting away millions of other people’s money isn’t a pastime with longevity: it’s something only a zealot would do. I think he’s gone off the deep end, hubris first, overfed to bloating on a steady diet of his own press and the tender ministrations of yes-men too afraid to set off Shyamalan’s diseased persecution complex by telling him that while he might be good at a few things, Lady in the Water was unsalvageable. When Disney executives did approximately that, Shyamalan took his ball and went across the street to Warner Brothers.

Sealab 2021: Season IV (2004-2005) + Arrested Development: Season Three (2005-2006) – DVDs

Sealab 2021: Season IV (2004-2005) + Arrested Development: Season Three (2005-2006) – DVDs

SEALAB 2021: SEASON IV
Image C Sound B Extras D
“Isla de Chupacabra,” “Joy of Grief,” “Green Fever,” “Sharko’s Machine,” “Return of Marko,” “Casinko,” “Butchslap,” “Monkey Banana Raffle,” “Shrabster,” “Cavemen,” “Moby Sick,” “No Waterworld,” “Legacy of Laughter”

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: SEASON THREE
Image A Sound B Extras B
“The Cabin Show,” “For British Eyes Only,” “Forget Me Now,” “Notapussy,” “Mr. F,” “The Ocean Walker,” “Prison Break-In,” “Making a Stand,” “S.O.B.s,” “Fakin’ It,” “Family Ties,” “Exit Strategy,” “Development Arrested”

by Walter Chaw Oh, I get it. It’s hostile.

Stella: Season One (2005) – DVD

Image B- Sound A- Extras B
"Pilot," "Campaign," "Office Party," "Coffee Shop," "Paper Route," "Camping," "Meeting Girls," "Novel," "Vegetables," "Amusement Park"

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover There's a difference between being smart and being "smart." Smart involves the recombination of concepts into some kind of thesis or analysis; "smart" is the mere name-checking of said concepts and the class trappings they afford. The problems begin when people act "smart" and feel they're actually smart–when the pose of intelligence becomes the real thing. And despite many contortions in a vaguely surrealist direction, the masterminds behind "Stella" clearly belong in the poser category. Although their juxtaposition of overgrown children against a world somewhat less mad than they are is fastidiously groomed and played to the hilt, it's not really smart about anything: by putting these naïf characters next to the supposed intelligence of the people who write their lines, they only reveal their "smarts" in comparison to a very limited test group.

Weeds: Season One (2005) – DVD

Image B+ Sound B Extras C
“You Can’t Miss the Bear,” “Free Goat,” “Good Shit Lollipop,” “Fashion of the Christ,” “Lude Awakening,” “Dead in the Nethers,” “Higher Education,” “The Punishment Light,” “The Punishment Lighter,” “The Godmother”

by Walter Chaw Showtime Entertainment chief Roger Greenblatt told the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER in August of this year that he was surprised “Weeds”, the pay channel’s latest attempt to catch the HBO original series tiger by the tail, had generated no controversy whatsoever. The ongoing saga of a soccer mom, recently widowed, selling pot to her friends and neighbours, “Weeds” has apparently aroused no ire from the traditionally prickly right-wing groups that make it their stock and trade to get their panties in a bunch over this sort of thing. Credit “Weeds”‘ decidedly non-controversial make-up and storylines for its complete inconsequence; its weak writing and suffocating air of self-congratulation very quickly metastasizes into a lump of middlebrow prestige. Seen by many as the blue-state response to the red-state Stepford conformity of the allegedly subversive “Desperate Housewives”, “Weeds” is more accurately a comedy that uses the very same neo-conservative fear-mongering and race-baiting its satirical targets use but re-deploys them to ostensibly satirical effect. Yet there’s so little weight to its happy serial horseshit that what’s probably meant as smarty-pants sociology comes off as limp and pandering. I see “Weeds” as an Ayn Rand piece, its straw men stuffed with dolled-up ganja and its slack grasp on the legitimately subversive hidden under a pile of insubstantial, terrified condescension.

Alien Nation: The Complete Series (1989-1990) + Doctor Who: The Complete First Series (2005) – DVDs

Alien Nation: The Complete Series (1989-1990) + Doctor Who: The Complete First Series (2005) – DVDs

ALIEN NATION: THE COMPLETE SERIES
Image C Sound C Extras C
“Alien Nation: The TV Movie (Pilot),” “Fountain of Youth,” “Little Lost Lamb,” “Fifteen with Wanda,” “The Takeover,” “The First Cigar,” “Night of the Screams,” “Contact,” “Three to Tango,” “The Game,” “Chains of Love,” “The Red Room,” “The Spirit of ’95,” “Generation to Generation,” “Eyewitness News,” “Partners,” “Real Men,” “Crossing the Line,” “Rebirth,” “Gimme, Gimme,” “The Touch,” “Green Eyes”

DOCTOR WHO: THE COMPLETE FIRST SERIES
Image A Sound B Extras B
“Rose,” “The End of the World,” “The Unquiet Dead,” “Aliens of London,” “World War Three,” “Dalek,” “The Long Game,” “Father’s Day,” “The Empty Child,” “The Doctor Dances,” “Boom Town,” “Bad Wolf,” “The Parting of the Ways”

by Walter Chaw I’m a fan of Graham Baker’s dreadful Alien Nation from 1988. Run the words of the title together and you get a not-terribly-clever yet not-entirely-awful summary of what the film is getting at when it’s not busy being a ludicrous high-concept buddy cop flick pairing your typical crusty old vet with an earnest rookie who happens to be an alien with a spotted pate instead of a hilarious racial minority. (Shades of Dead Heat, where Joe Piscopo played a bug-eyed zombie.) It’s a schlocky B-concept, granted, but the parallax view suggests that lurking in Alien Nation is a neat parable about the Chinese-American experience in San Francisco around the turn of the century and on through to the modern day.

3 Extremes (2005) + Hellbent (2005) – DVDs

3 Extremes (2005) + Hellbent (2005) – DVDs

Three… Extremes
***/**** Image A- Sound A- Extras C+
DUMPLINGS-The Hong Kong Extreme: starring Miriam Yeung, Bai Ling
screenplay by Lilian Lee
directed by Fruit Chan
CUT-The Korean Extreme: starring Lee Byung-Hun, Lim Won-Hee
written and directed by Park Chanwook
BOX-The Japan Extreme: starring Kyoko Hasegawa,Atsuro Watabe
screenplay by Haruko Fukushima
directed by Takashi Miike

HELLBENT
***½/**** Image C- Sound B+ Extras C
starring Dylan Fergus, Bryan Kirkwood, Hank Harris, Andrew Levitas
written and directed by Paul Etheredge-Ouzts

by Walter Chaw My favourite working cinematographer is Harris Savides. His collaborations with Gus Van Sant and his contribution to Jonathan Glazer’s Birth demonstrate to me an agility with aspect ratio and rhythm that’s particularly pleasing to my own ways of seeing. A close second, though, is Christopher Doyle, the great Australian cinematographer who teams almost exclusively with Asian directors (most notably on the bulk of Wong Kar Wai’s visually arresting filmography, Zhang Yimou’s Hero, and Pen-Ek Ratanaruang’s Last Life in the Universe)–his stuff indicative of a kind of lyrical, ritualistic devouring that matches the best of the Asian sensibility in pace and narrative. Doyle joins an elite crowd (Greg Toland, James Wong Howe, Raoul Coutard, Sven Nykvist, Vilmos Zsigmond, Conrad Hall, and a select few others) of cinematographers worthy of the auteur label: a certain mood, a certain style, haunts every frame on which he works with a distinct, unmistakable bouquet. He’s an interesting choice, then, as the only constant of an anthology film, Three… Extremes, a sequel in structure to an Asian portmanteau from a couple years back, featuring, again, three different frontline Asian directors, each enlisted to provide a horror-based short film.

The Protector (2005) + The Covenant (2006)

Tom yum goong
***/****
starring Tony Jaa, Petchtai Wongkamlao, Bongkoj Khongmalai, Xing Jing
screenplay by Kongdej Jaturanrasamee & Napalee & Piyaros Thongdee and Joe Wannapin
directed by Prachya Pinkaew

THE COVENANT
½*/****
starring Steven Strait, Sebastian Stan, Laura Ramsey, Taylor Kitsch
screenplay by J.S. Cardone
directed by Renny Harlin

by Walter Chaw Tony Jaa is a bad motherfucker. There’s a moment in his latest export The Protector where it appears as though he’s killed someone with his penis (lo, how I would love to avoid that epitaph), and in the meantime, he dispatches foes with the heedless joy of obvious predecessor Jackie Chan (who has a cameo in the film shot so ineptly that it suggests a Jackie Chan impersonator smeared with Vaseline). Alas, there’s a plot (something about the kidnapping of two elephants, one of which is turned into a gaudy tchotcke in an evil dragon lady’s den of inequity), too, told through a lot of howlingly incompetent narrative chunks you could seemingly rearrange in any order with no tangible disruption of sense. (The Butchers Weinstein may of course be partly to blame.) The film is easily the funniest, most exhilaratingly ridiculous picture in a year in which Snakes on a Plane aspired to the same camp/cult heights, and it does it the only way that you can: by being deadly serious.

Little Jerusalem (2005) – DVD

La Petite Jérusalem
**/**** Image B Sound B+ Extras N/A
starring Fanny Valette, Elsa Zylberstein, Bruno Todeschini, Hédi Tillette de Clermont-Tonnerre
written and directed by Karin Albou

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover The deck of Little Jerusalem (La Petite Jérusalem) is so obviously stacked from the very beginning that it’s not much fun to actually play the game. We know from the outset that its philosophy-student heroine, Laura (Fanny Valette), is going to fly the coop from her stifling Orthodox Jewish home. (A few stern words from her married sister Mathilde (Elsa Zylberstein) are deemed sufficient grease for the wheels of antagonism for the full 94 minutes.) Laura’s fall from vacillation between the two stools doesn’t feel like much of a struggle, even though her Kantian walks upset her proper family (they’d rather see her hitched and making babies); it’s hard to rally much enthusiasm for the film’s foregone conclusions, which are telegraphed at that. Little Jerusalem is painless enough, but there’s no there there, and the whole thing evaporates minutes after you’ve sat through it.

Only Human (2004) + House of Sand (2005)

Seres queridos
**/****
starring Guillermo Toledo, Marián Aguilera, María Botto, Fernando Ramallo
written and directed by Dominic Harari & Teresa Pelegri

Casa de Areia
***½/****
starring Fernanda Montenegro, Fernanda Torres, Ruy Guerra, Seu Jorge
screenplay by Elena Soárez
directed by Andrucha Waddington

by Walter Chaw Married hyphenates Dominic Harari and Teresi Pelegri craft a screwball comedy (which has the audacity to end with the final line of Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot) about what happens when good Jewish girl Leni (Marián Aguilera) brings Palestinian nebbish boyfriend Rafi (Guillermo Toledo) home to meet her My Big Fat Greek Wedding ethnic cartoon family. There’s the blind, rifle-toting old fossil fond of recounting his days of potting Arabs along the Gaza strip; the short, hysterical Jewish mother; the slutty older sister who only fucks anything with a dick because mama loved little sister more; the younger brother who’s newly fanatical about the Koran and the observance of the Jewish Sabbath; and the niece who’s a monster because, well, who wouldn’t be in that household? Discomfort turns into farce when Rafi drops a cube of frozen soup out a window, killing someone who might be Leni’s father (said father later mistaking a black prostitute for Leni’s mother)–this event also leading to the discovery that Leni’s mother has never had an orgasm and the tableaux homorte where grandpa is caught groping Rafi during a trip to the loo.

Keane (2005) – DVD

Keane (2005) – DVD

****/**** Image B- Sound A Extras A
starring Damian Lewis, Abigail Breslin, Amy Ryan
written and directed by Lodge Kerrigan

by Walter Chaw Lodge Kerrigan’s astounding Keane deals not only with madness and the loss of a child but also with our preconceptions of the cold universe and, shaving it precisely, our expectations for the kinds of cold comfort we expect film to provide. It’s wrong to call it experimental, because the decision to shoot in four-minute takes doesn’t announce itself as a gimmick as much as it settles comfortably into a groove alternating small explosions and lulls laced with anticipation. A lot of movies pay lip service to carving space for their actors to find their way around difficult characters and emotionally taxing scenes–Keane actually does it. It’s about the belief that there are no certainties in life, and it understands that trusting–and loving–in a world so swiftly lurching is akin to a kind of insanity. When we meet William Keane (Damian Lewis), as he’s reeling around the Port Authority Bus Terminal looking for his daughter, it takes us a few minutes to realize that his daughter (if he’s ever even had a daughter) has been missing for a year and that his desperate attempts to find a witness to her abduction in the river of passers-by is spiced by a little too much stale urgency. Keane might be crazy. He also has good reason to be.

The Descent (2005)

***/****
starring Shauna Macdonald, Natalie Mendoza, Alex Reid, Saskia Mulder
written and directed by Neil Marshall

by Walter Chaw Beginning in the same way as countless other genre pictures (the city folks go to a cabin and have boring, perfunctory, character-defining chatter), Neil Marshall’s often-terrifying, often-brilliant The Descent subsequently manages to describe for long stretches a complicated, Jungian labyrinth of regret and shadow-projections and doubling through dank explorations of a vaginal, womb-like metaphor for the subconscious. There’s a moment where our avatar, Sarah (Shauna Macdonald), emerges from a gore bath and stands reborn into the very avenging feminist totem of Carrie post-prom: it’s just one of three “births” Sarah endures (four if you count a dream sequence in a hospital early on), the last of which stands in tribute to the final sting of Carrie. It’s possible, in fact, to split the film into quarters according to its recurrent motifs of gestation-into-discharge following penetration.

30 Days (2005) – DVD

Image A- Sound A- Extras B
“Minimum Wage,” “Anti-Aging,” “Muslims and America,” Straight Man in a Gay World,” “Off the Grid,” “Binge Drinking Mom”

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover The least interesting thing about Super Size Me was the gimmick for which we showed up. Morgan Spurlock’s month-long Mickey-D’s binge yielded nothing any reasonably well-informed person couldn’t have guessed about fast-food nutritional horrors. Rather, it was the supporting information on the extent and pervasiveness of those horrors that made the film worth the effort. Of course, there are large numbers of people who won’t invite facts into their home without entertainment as incentive, so maybe the Spurlock method is craftier than a first glance would suggest. In any event, we now have six more cases with which to test it: debuting on DVD in conjunction with its second-season premiere, his FX program “30 Days” puts the Month-Long Gimmick to work on a variety of unsuspecting innocents in the name of informing the public. And though there are limits to the success of each 44-minute episode, our man harmoniously blends information with rubbernecking.

Don’t Come Knocking (2005) – DVD

Don’t Come Knocking (2005) – DVD

**/**** Image A+ Sound A- Extras B
starring Sam Shepard, Jessica Lange, Tim Roth, Gabriel Mann
screenplay by Sam Shepard, based on his play
directed by Wim Wenders

by Walter Chaw Howard Spence (Sam Shepard) is a has-been western star knocked down a few pegs by alcohol, drugs, and groupies–and so like any good anti-hero, he takes off in the middle of shooting a film, on horseback, to reunite with his long-estranged mother (Eva Marie Saint) before heading off to Butte, Montana in search of a long-lost bastard son (Gabriel Mann). He has a few conversations with the barmaid (Jessica Lange) he knocked up once upon a time, while a sullen girl (Sarah Polley) carrying a blue urn stalks him around town, offering the occasional cryptic message before retreating again into the wallpaper. But what glorious wallpaper it is, with Wim Wenders and his cinematographer Franz Lustig finding in Butte a myth of the American West frozen in bright, primary, Edward Hopper amber. Twin painters of isolation and suspension, Wenders and Hopper–since long about The American Friend–have been on a mission to redraw the psychic divorce of one American from another in minor chords and long, drawn-out tremolos. Don’t Come Knocking, though, is only minor Wenders, and I do wonder if giving over too much faith in the flagging abilities of Shepard to write a script worth shooting has cost him his pitch this time around.

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) [Special Collector’s Edition – Widescreen] – DVD

Yours, Mine & Ours (2005) [Special Collector’s Edition – Widescreen] – DVD

½*/**** Image A- Sound A Extras C-
starring Dennis Quaid, Rene Russo, Rip Torn, Linda Hunt
screenplay by Ron Burch & David Kidd, based on the screenplay by Melville Shavelson and Mort Lachman
directed by Raja Gosnell

by Walter Chaw Hand it to deal-with-the-devil Raja Gosnell’s Yours, Mine & Ours, a worthless update of the mostly worthless Henry Fonda/Lucille Ball original: at least it hurries up and cranks Admiral Frank (Dennis Quaid) and hippie-chick Helen (Rene Russo) into holy matrimony. But then, it’s not about the parents–it’s about getting covered in goop and obnoxious kid gags, so once we jettison the only two possible reasons to see this shipwreck (ignoring poor Rip Torn and Linda Hunt in perfunctory supporting roles), we’re offered eighteen adorable reasons to open our wrists and tie our tubes. You know the drill: disgusting food jokes, barf jokes, fart and poop and piss and pet jokes, sped-up moments, weird references to The Parent Trap, and then the obligatory soupy plot machinations that get the arch-enemy family camps to join forces to manufacture a feel-good throb of family against all odds. As Robert Altman himself couldn’t work a miracle with these twenty-two main characters (eighteen of them pre-adolescent), maybe it’s not fair to expect Gosnell to conjure something watchable from this infernal clips reel of children screaming–but one did have the reasonable expectation that he wouldn’t twice humiliate Quaid in silly-noise-augmented slapstick scenarios.