Queer as Folk: The Complete First Season (1999) – DVD (volumes 1 and 6 only)

Image C Sound C+ Extras ?

by Walter Chaw It's extremely difficult to review a television show in a traditional sense. Television series tend to be long-term investments–seldom is the first season of anything ("The Sopranos" being an obvious exception, "Cheers" being an obvious example) worth much of a damn, especially in comparison to later seasons, when everything hums like a well-oiled machine. Explanation for this can be found in the awkwardness inherent in too much desperate exposition crammed into too short a time. Accordingly, the first episode of "Queer as Folk", recently collected in a six-DVD box set (FILM FREAK CENTRAL was supplied only with discs one and six), is mannered and uncomfortable. That's almost beside the point.

The Object of My Affection (1998) – DVD

ZERO STARS/**** Image A Sound B
starring Jennifer Aniston, Paul Rudd, Alan Alda, Nigel Hawthorne
screenplay by Wendy Wasserstein, based on the novel by Stephen McCauley
directed by Nicholas Hytner

by Walter Chaw A fascinatingly unpleasant precursor to NBC’s “Will & Grace”, The Object of My Affection details the predominantly platonic friendship between a romantically tortured straight woman, Nina (Jennifer Aniston), and a prototypically sensitive gay man, George (Paul Rudd). The unbearably treacly score by long-time offender George Fenton immediately announces by its very presence (and Fenton’s very participation) that The Object of My Affection is going to be atrocious, and true to form, it’s really atrocious. Yet to say that it’s as predictable as it is sickening in its laziness (there’s a VH1 music video montage in which our odd couple attends a dance class) would be to downplay the actual visceral “wrongness” of the piece, something that has nothing to do with the subject matter.

Fatal Error (1999) – DVD

ZERO STARS/**** Image C+ Sound C
starring Antonio Sabato Jr., Janine Turner, Robert Wagner, Jason Schombing
teleplay by Rockne S. O’Bannon, based on the novel Reaper by Ben Mezrich
directed by Armand Mastroianni

by Walter Chaw A fatal virus transmitted by an evil computer program enters via the eyes and turns people into chalk (neatly combining two plots of “The X Files”). It’s up to hunky Antonio Sabato Jr., as ex-Army virologist-cum-contract paramedic Nick, and the vacuous Janine Turner, as current Army virologist Dr. Samantha, to unravel the puzzle before millions die. That Robert Wagner plays the corporate villain without a hint of irony is just one of those sad lessons about wise investments that parents should tell their children.

Silent Trigger (1996) – DVD

*/**** Image D Sound D+
starring Dolph Lundgren, Gina Bellman, George Jenesky, Christopher Heyerdahl
screenplay by Sergio Altieri
directed by Russell Mulcahy

by Walter Chaw There was a time, ’round about the cheap thrills of Razorback, that I thought director Russell Mulcahy had a future as an action director. Seventeen years later, the Aussie has proven me wrong by peaking with the intentionally campy The Shadow and the unintentionally campy Highlander. And while Silent Trigger isn’t the worst of Mulcahy’s missteps (Highlander II: The Quickening has a hammerlock on several “worst” titles), it’s not for lack of trying. Still, I can’t completely dislike both Dolph Lundgren and Mulcahy’s latest direct-to-video disaster because I feel as though watching it has taught me a few things.

Hostage High (1997) [Director’s Uncut Version] – DVD

Detention: The Siege at Johnson High
**/**** Image B Sound C+ Extras C
starring Rick Schroder, Henry Winkler, Freddie Prinze Jr., Ren Woods
screenplay by Larry Golin
directed by Michael W. Watkins

by Walter Chaw Kids who go to Columbine High School and don't compete in organized athletics are referred to as "no sports." It's not a kind term. On the weekends in Littleton, crowds of teenagers driving new model Dodge Rams, BMWs, and SUVs collect in area parking lots to make a lot of noise and hoot at people driving by until the police arrive to disperse them–if they bother to come at all. If you're African-American like a good friend of mine, they'll sometimes make monkey noises; if you're Asian like myself, they do the Mr. Miyagi crane pose and laugh like loons. From my personal experience in this community, having 15 of their fellow students die in a hail of bullets did not teach a significant population of Columbiners compassion, tolerance, and respect. Maybe just the opposite.

Iron Monkey (1993)

***½/****
starring Yu Rong Guang, Donnie Yen, Jean Wang, Tsang Sze Man
screenplay by Tsui Hark, Elsa Tang, Lau Tai Mok
directed by Yuen Wo Ping

by Walter Chaw I first saw Yuen Woo-ping’s Iron Monkey on what must have been a third-generation bootleg: it was in unsubtitled Cantonese and fullscreen pan-and-scan, brought home unlabeled on a cheap Maxell videotape from a Vietnamese grocery down on South Federal. As a native Mandarin speaker, I didn’t understand a word of it, and the quality of the tape was such that it was impossible to decipher any shadow detail, but it was clear to me even then that Iron Monkey was something extremely special. Long a cult favourite in the United States (although it didn’t do particularly well when released theatrically in Asia), Iron Monkey received an extremely nice DVD transfer in 1998 from Media Asia; it is a disc that holds a place of honour in my personal collection. With the massive popularity of The Matrix and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (both choreographed by Woo-ping), as well as the surprising success of Americanized re-issues of Jackie Chan’s old Hong Kong films, Iron Monkey has been cleaned up, freshly subtitled, and booked in American moviehouses in an attempt to capitalize on the sudden popularity of wire-fu in particular and the dizzying HK cinema in general.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992) – DVD

*/**** Image D+ Sound D
starring Kristy Swanson, Donald Sutherland, Paul Reubens, Rutger Hauer
screenplay by Joss Whedon
directed by Fran Rubel Kuzui

by Walter Chaw Constrained by, among other things, what writer/creator Joss Whedon calls Donald Sutherland’s reprehensible attitude and script tampering plus director Fran Rubel Kuzui’s inability to stand up to the veteran thespian, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a slog through the underbelly of cinematic dredge that feels at least twice as long as its 86 minutes. The most stunning thing about this horror-comedy is that the TV series spun from it is very possibly among the top ten shows in regards to quality of writing, performance, and level of intelligence, of the past decade.

Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) [Special Edition] – DVD

Die Hard 2
***/**** Image A Sound A Extras A-

starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Atherton, Reginald Vel Johnson
screenplay by Steven E. de Souza and Doug Richardson, based on the novel 58 Minutes by Walter Wager
directed by Renny Harlin

“Man, I can’t believe this. Another basement. Another elevator. How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?”

“We got a new SOP for DOAs from the FAA.” -John McClane, Die Hard 2

by Vincent Suarez Everything you need to know about Die Hard 2 can be gleaned from these two lines. In essentially replicating the formula perfected by its predecessor, Die Hard 2 doesn’t merely lapse into the self-parody that characterizes (and often weakens) most sequels–it embraces (and is frequently elevated) by it. With a higher body count, quicker pace, and slightly shorter running time than Die Hard, the entire exercise smacks of shorthand, resulting in a breezier, if less substantial and sophisticated, experience. Nonetheless, like John McClane himself, the film packs a smart-alecky wallop.

Fast Fade: David Puttnam, Columbia Pictures, and the Battle for Hollywood – Books

Fast Fade: David Puttnam, Columbia Pictures, and the Battle for Hollywood
FFC rating: 2/10
by Andrew Yule

by Walter Chaw Andrew Yule’s anecdotal biography-as-memoir of David Puttnam’s rise as an independent movie producer and brief run as the head of Columbia Pictures, Fast Fade: David Puttnam, Columbia Pictures, and the Battle for Hollywood is a poorly-written vanity piece that offers a minimum of analysis en route to being tediously repetitive and at least 30 pages too long. Packed to the gills with quotes from Puttnam, his wife Patsy, close friend/director Alan Parker, and an extended cast of British and Hollywood production glitterati, the book finds Yule interjecting occasionally in the tiresome reportage style of a relatively talentless journalist incapable of offering anything in the way of a trenchant critique. Chapter flows into chapter, bound only by chronology and Yule’s occasional stultifying transition, e.g.:

David probably did not realize it at the time, but The Mission marked the end of a major phase in his career. A very significant phase was about to begin.

Nightwatch (1994) – DVD

Nattevagten
***/**** Image A- Sound B Extras C
starring Nikolaj Waldau, Sofie Graaboel, Kim Bodnia, Lotte Andersen
written and directed by Ole Bornedal

by Walter Chaw Dark and moody with a dash of post-modern relational philosophy, Ole Bornedal’s Nightwatch (Nattevagten) is a taut and unusual thriller that has been remade by the same director into the English-language Nightwatch, starring Ewan McGregor, Nick Nolte, and Patricia Arquette. In its original Dutch-language incarnation (seen by over 15% of the entire Dane population), Nattevagten is lent a good deal of weight by a satisfying subplot involving the nature of love and the rites of passage young men endure to become men in one another’s eyes. It sounds a little heady for what boils down to fairly typical serial-killer intrigue, but the uniformly fine performances, the uncompromising though tasteful direction, and the sharp screenplay (by Bornedal) combine to make the film something a little finer than what its barest plot synopsis would indicate. It reminds most of another foreign thriller largely ignored on American shores released in the same year, Anthony Waller’s Mute Witness.

Love Potion #9 (1992) – DVD

ZERO STARS/**** Image D+ Sound C-
starring Tate Donovan, Sandra Bullock, Mary Mara, Dale Midkiff
written and directed by Dale Launer

by Walter Chaw Love Potion #9 is an indescribably bad film that elicits so many feelings of true hatred it should be classified as a post-expressionist nihilist experiment rather than a romantic comedy. It is a gimmick flick based on a novelty song that manages to be worse than the stillbirth of an idea that spawned it. I can only surmise that it's being resurrected now on the DVD format because of the inexplicable fame of Sandra Bullock–a realization that makes me not only want to sleep with the lights on, but also begin to dread the inevitable digital remastering of Religion, Inc..

Cash Crop (1999) – DVD

Harvest
*½/**** Image B Sound B- Extras C
starring James Van Der Beek, Jeffrey DeMunn, Mary McCormack, Fred Weller
screenplay by Jim Biederman, Stuart Burkin, David M. Korn
directed by Stuart Burkin

by Walter Chaw A micro-budget independent venture shot in twenty-six days, Stuart Burkin’s auteur debut Cash Crop (a.k.a. Harvest) is a pro-pot film (not to be confused with The Killing Fields, a Pol Pot film) that has as its headliner TIGER BEAT icon James Van Der Beek (Varsity Blues), who does indeed lend his Bert-browed visage to about five minutes at the beginning of the movie. The real stars of the show, however, are B-list veterans John Slattery (Traffic, Eraser) and the always excellent Mary McCormack (The Alarmist) as a rural Pennsylvania sheriff and a DEA agent, respectively. It is their performances alone which nearly rescue Cash Crop from its awkward plot progression, a handful of embarrassing subplots, and a few secondary turns that run the gamut from “torturous” to “unwatchable.” Slattery and McCormack don’t make Cash Crop a good movie, don’t get me wrong, they just make it a barely “not as terrible as it would otherwise have been” movie that I’ll forget, Lord willing, in a day or two.

Two Girls and a Guy (1998) – DVD

**/**** Image B+ Sound B Commentary B
starring Robert Downey Jr., Heather Graham, Natasha Gregson Wagner
written and directed by James Toback

by Travis Mackenzie Hoover Viewers of Toback's 1977 cult classic Fingers will find no new ground covered in 1998's Two Girls and a Guy. Once again, we have a young-turk artiste (Robert Downey Jr. in this incarnation) who's too wrapped up in what his mother thinks of him. We also have his wanton sexual behaviour, and his attempts to put his chaotic life in order. This time, however, we are to believe that he's being properly grilled by his two girlfriends, who meet by chance when they get the same idea of surprising him on his doorstep.

Nine Months (1995) – DVD

*/**** Image B+ Sound B
starring Hugh Grant, Julianne Moore, Tom Arnold, Joan Cusack
screenplay by Chris Columbus, based on the film Neuf mois by Patrick Braoude

directed by Chris Columbus

by Walter Chaw That Chris Columbus consistently gets opportunities to direct films in Hollywood is not a result of his talent or wit, but rather the American box-office’s indefatigable hunger for empty cinematic calories. When such unforgivably unpleasant and sentimental Columbus pap as Home Alone, Home Alone 2, Mrs. Doubtfire, Only the Lonely, and Stepmom drop like lead balloons into the cineplex to the approving chorus of the terminally uncritical and the incurably dim-witted, there is no possible reason for studios to try to create something of quality and value. Psst! Wanna make a fortune? Toss a cheap and manipulative tearjerker peppered with mean-spirited slapstick to Chris Columbus, and watch the money pour in.

Paradise Road (1997) – DVD

**/**** Image A+ Sound A
starring Glenn Close, Frances McDormand, Pauline Collins, Cate Blanchett
written and directed by Bruce Beresford

by Walter Chaw In 1976, Polish composer Henryk Gorecki composed his stunning orchestral and choral piece Symphony No.3 Op.36 “Symfonia pie¶ni ¿a³osnych” (“Symphony for Sorrowful Souls”), a collection of smaller movements comprising, much like Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana, varied texts both sacred and found. Among those sources used by Gorecki are a 15th-century lamentation of the Holy Cross Monastery; a folk song from the Opole region; and, most specifically, a young prisoner’s inscription on the wall of her cell in Zakopane’s Gestapo prison.

Orson Welles: A Critical View – Books

FFC rating: 8/10
by André Bazin

by Walter Chaw André Bazin is one of the most influential figures in cinema, not for his actions behind a camera, but for his actions as an active spectator–as that most loathsome and vital of creatures, the critic. A founder of the legendary arts magazine Cahiers du Cinéma, Bazin became the de facto father of the French Nouvelle Vague movement and a nearly literal father to director François Truffaut, whom he saved more than once from imprisonment and impoverishment. Writers employed by Cahiers du Cinéma include the “big five” French New Wave directors: Truffaut, Jean-Luc Godard, Claude Chabrol, Jacques Rivette and Eric Rohmer. Each began his career in cinema among its staunchest critics, and each would later endeavour to redefine film as a more “novelistic” and “authentic” method of expression.

Threesome (1994) – DVD

**/**** Image A- Sound B+ Commentary B-
starring Lara Flynn Boyle, Stephen Baldwin, Josh Charles, Alexis Arquette
written and directed by Andrew Fleming

by Bill Chambers I first saw Threesome during its theatrical run, which coincided with the end of my freshman year at university. I liked the film enough back then, for what it didn't reflect of my experiences it evoked, and its characters suggested people I had met at school, maybe myself at that point, in the exaggerated, nay, grotesque manner of political cartoons. Which is a scary thought seeing Threesome again some seven years later: maturity (mine?) recasts its protagonists in a dark, contemptible light.

If I Die Before I Wake (1996) – DVD

if I die before I wake
***/**** Image C+ Sound C
starring Stephanie Jones, Muse Watson, Michael McCleery, Coryanne Sennett
written and directed by Brian Katkin

by Bill Chambers If I Die Before I Wake is not a guilty pleasure (and definitely not a pleasure, period), but it did provoke a very guilty reaction from me: one of admiration. Other critics have dismissed it outright, calling it cheap, classist, exploitative, even sick. Guess what? It is all of those things, yet I found the film to be an efficient button-pusher with impressively acute access to our emotions, and there is combustible tension in our heroine's plight that had me practically praying aloud for her safety. If I Die Before I Wake, unlike so much of modern schlock (believe me, I've seen my quota), is panic-inducing, which isn't nothing.

The X Files: The Complete Third Season (1995-1996) – DVD

Image A Sound A- Extras B+
"The Blessing Way," "Paper Clip," "D.P.O.," "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose," "The List," "2Shy," "The Walk," "Oubliette," "Nisei," "731," "Revelations," "War of the Coprophages," "Syzygy," "Grotesque," "Piper Maru," "Apocrypha," "Pusher," "Teso Dos Bichos," "Hell Money," "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'," "Avatar," "Quagmire," "Wetwired," "Talitha Cumi"

by Bill Chambers They're folded compactly in a box, similar to those gift packages of Life Savers I used to find in my stocking on Christmas morning. Likewise, they inspire trial-and-error taste tests (I never ate the butterscotch ones), the names often betraying little about the flavours. I'm talking about the seven-disc/24-episode collection of "The X Files"' third season, which bows on DVD a year after Season One did and arguably improves upon the high standards set by it. It helps that this is the series in top form.

julien donkey-boy (1999) – DVD

**½/**** Image A Sound A Extras B
starring Ewen Bremner, Chloe Sevigny, Werner Herzog, Evan Neumann
written and directed by Harmony Korine

by Walter Chaw Julien Bishop (Ewen Bremner, of Trainspotting) is schizophrenic, a stream-of-consciousness construct biding his time shambling along city streets, riding public transportation, and volunteering at a school for the blind. Aggressively disoriented and a sower of discomfort, Julien is not only a twisted Christ figure at the center of this most religious of Harmony Korine’s pictures, but a clear manifestation of Korine’s filmmaking philosophy.