*½/**** Image A- Sound A Extras B
starring Gregory Peck, David Niven, Anthony Quinn, James Darren
screenplay by Carl Foreman, based on the novel by Alistair MacLean
directed by J. Lee Thompson
by Travis Mackenzie Hoover My brother Oliver is fond of citing movies where you actually root for the Nazis. Not because you like what they stand for, of course, but because the cinematic alternative suddenly seems much worse: fact of the matter is those fucking Von Trapps will simply not shut up in The Sound of Music, while anyone who would voluntarily off Jon Bon Jovi, as the Nazis do in U-571, can't possibly be ALL bad. To this very short list we may add the inexplicably popular guy-movie staple The Guns of Navarone. Supposedly trading on the selfless heroism of a commando unit behind enemy lines, the film has such a hair up its ass about the virtue of grim determination that it manages to bore you into an early grave within the first five minutes. Nearly three hours of watching Gregory Peck and his group of he-men bicker over ethics and strategy would make any thinking adult pray for some kind of violent deliverance. Nazis, Italian Fascists, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir–I'm not choosy about who shoots these jerks dead, just as long as somebody does it.
That it's Peck leading the expedition is an indication of the minds at work here. Though based on an Alistair MacLean novel about a completely fanciful mission that never happened, the film tries to bully you into silence and awe with the courage of a group of soldier caricatures who might have been fun were they not so irritatingly serious. Thus Peck is parachuted in to lend stoicism to an already leaden production. (Peck is many fine things, but an action-packed good-time guy ain't one of them.) Alas, one glance at the plot outline tells you The Guns of Navarone can't possibly sustain the gravitas for which it aims. It's a standard Bunch of Guys on a Mission flick: the objective is 2,000 British soldiers cordoned on a Greek island by massive guns that inhibit an approach by sea. Indeed, the idea of scaling the one undefended cliff and blowing up the guns before the Nazis get murderous ideas is one of those assignments that "can't be done"–but, as Commodore Jensen (James Robertson Justice) notes, "Anything can happen in a war!"
Anyone who's familiar with the BoGoaM genre will be expecting some serious action. Sadly, this ragtag group of commandoes wastes most of the film hashing out interpersonal issues. Peck's Capt. Keith Mallory has a weird relationship with Col. Andrea Stavros (Anthony Quinn), with whom the captain is close despite a promise from Stavros that he'll one day kill him. (This goes nowhere.) Meanwhile, Cpl. Miller (David Niven) carries the torch for the eventually-wounded Maj. Roy Franklin (Anthony Quayle), whose injury provokes tedious discussion of whether they should abandon, kill, or carry the Major and what that means about us as human beings. By the time we've reached resistance fighters Maria (Irene Pappas) and Anna (Gia Scala), The Guns of Navarone is top-heavy with exposition and poorly-thought-out moralizing, and it only gets worse the closer we come to the fabled, eponymous artillery.
Director J. Lee Thompson–filling a seat vacated by the superior Alexander Mackendrick–is not renowned for his genius. This is his lone entrée into immortality: his career up to then yielded no classics and afterwards produced camp idiocy like The Chairman; Thompson subsequently spent his golden years as the house director for Cannon Pictures. At least The Chairman was funny–The Guns of Navarone is a gunmetal-grey enterprise without a single exciting shot or evocative image. It's prefab all the way, a sheen of seriousness settling over the production without anything dramatic to back it up. Thompson is clearly trying to bolster the mood already inherent in the script but instead winds up capsizing the enterprise: boring, simple-minded moralizing gums up the works of the movie it can't admit to being. I can tolerate a dumb actioner if it cops to its station; and I can handle a drama of this ilk if it values subtlety. But this halfway measure on either end destroys the purpose of both while giving us nothing to look at for 157 miserable minutes.
THE DVD
Sony's 2-disc Collector's Edition of The Guns of Navarone is decent enough. The film's 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation is fairly clean, albeit a tad muddy now and again. Overall, the transfer could be a little less plugged-up, though the UCLA restoration mostly impresses. The DD 5.1 audio is surprisingly good: unlike some other surround reconfigurations of pre-Dolby soundtracks, this doesn't betray any manipulation–probably because it was designed for quadraphonic playback from the start. Extras break down as follows:
DISC ONE
A Message from Carl Foreman (2 mins.)
This is an intro appended to the Australian premiere in which producer/screenwriter Foreman expresses his regret at not being there, then launches into the full cast list for his latest, The Victors. An interesting piece of ephemera.
Commentary with J. Lee Thompson
Those hoping for penetrating insight may feel infinitely frustrated with this track by the late helmer, ported over from an earlier DVD edition. He explains who the actors are, how much he rehearsed, and what's happening on screen–nothing terribly insightful, in other words.
Commentary with Stephen J. Rubin
Rubin offers an OK trivia track that's high on info and low on analysis. Although the film historian doesn't bow and pray to his charge like some other commentators (he's willing to point out that most of the film's commandoes are rather dubiously in their 40s and 50s), this is a pretty conventional monologue encompassing the participants, how they got to where they were, and Rubin's own impressions of the film upon its original release.
DISC TWO
"Forging The Guns of Navarone: Notes from the Set" (13 mins.)
This is, predictably, more of technical than creative interest. Foreman receives the lion's share of credit, with director J. Lee Thompson regarded as a replacement for Alexander Mackendrick. The stuff about the matching first and second unit (and those big, fibreglass guns) has its charms.
"Ironic Epic of Heroism" (24 mins.)
The ubiquitous Sir Christopher Frayling's exegesis of the production. He's still too credulous of the whole thing but offers juicy tidbits concerning Foreman's ambitions, Thompson's contributions, and buried gay subtext that you thought you'd never hear. I had my suspicions confirmed when it's reported not only that Foreman couldn't make a movie without a "message," but also that contemporary negative criticism called The Guns of Navarone all talk, no action.
Retrospective Documentary: "Memories of Navarone" (29 mins.)
Peck, Thompson, Quinn, and James Darren trip down memory lane for this new/old interview doc. Frankly, nothing much of note is said: it's all personal quirks, working relationships, and on-set shenanigans, but fans of the movie and its cast might enjoy it.
"A Heroic Score" (9 mins.)
Film music historian Jon Burlingame shares his insights into the subtleties of Dmitri Tiomkin's score. Frankly, I found the film's music to be a bit much; not so Burlingame.
"Epic Restoration" (9 mins.)
Lead restorer Robert Gitt discusses the sorry state of the film's original elements and the hunt for missing footage. An informative clip with an engaging digression about Richard Harris's monologue.
Narration-Free Prologue (5 mins.)
For film-music fans, Tiomkin's overture without James Robertson Justice's narration. Make of this what you will.
Roadshow Intermission (6 mins.)
Trainspotters also note the entr'acte music and titles for the uncommon roadshow version. Fades out on the boys being captured, fades in on an exterior of a Nazi base.
"Great Guns" (5 mins.)
A vintage featurette that's a throwback to classic-era newsreels: Gregory Peck plays soccer with school kids while Irene Pappas goes shopping. As cheesy as it gets.
"No Visitors" (4 mins.)
Another vintage clip, this one detailing how the "no visitors" sign was taken down for both the Greek location residents and Romanian royalty. Plus, Gregory Peck plays soccer again.
"Honeymoon on Rhodes" (4 mins.)
James and Evy Darren honeymoon on the island before going to work on the movie. Bad jokes are told in a monotone. Gregory Peck does not play soccer…
"Two Girls on the Town" (4 mins.)
Irene Pappas does, however, return to shop, and with Gia Scala in tow we learn that souvlaki is the Greek hot dog and that huge sponges are expensive. Lamer than lame itself.
Trailers for Edison Force, Hard Luck, and Walking Tall: The Payback round out the second platter.
157 minutes; NR; 2.35:1 (16×9-enhanced); English DD 5.1, English Dolby Surround, Portuguese DD 5.1, French DD 2.0 (Mono), Spanish DD 2.0 (Mono); CC; English, French, Spanish, Portuguese subtitles; DVD-9 + DVD-5; Region One; Sony
