Mean Girls (2004) [Special Collector’s Edition – Widescreen Collection] – DVD

***/**** Image A- Sound B+ Extras B+
starring Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tim Meadows, Ana Gasteyer
screenplay by Tina Fey, based on the book Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman
directed by Mark S. Waters

by Walter Chaw Plastics instead of Heathers; Lindsay Lohan instead of Winona Ryder; director Mark Waters instead of screenwriter brother Daniel; lunchtime poll: same. The biggest difference between Mean Girls and Heathers is the lack of that unmistakable spark of dark, playful genius. Both the Waters brothers made a splash with their initial public offerings (Mark with the fantastic The House of Yes, Daniel with Heathers), but while Daniel's portfolio is sprinkled with lead balloons like The Adventures of Ford Fairlane and the fitfully interesting Demolition Man, he did score with Batman Returns; Mark, alas, has a Freddie Prinze Jr./Monica Potter, a Jason Priestly/Mariel Hemingway, and a pair of Lohans in his deck, making The House of Yes an anomaly, it seems–as outcast from its comrades as Waters's imperfect characters are from his vision of a perversely stolid normality. Not to say that Waters's work post-The House of Yes is without unifying vision, just that his tendencies betray themselves as desperately wanting to be popular. It's a yen that makes Mean Girls actually a little autobiographical, and, probably as a direct result of that transparency, better than it should be.

Cady (Lohan) is an Eliza Thornberry wild child venturing into the untamed veldt of an Illinois public high school, a high concept of girl anthropologist thrown into the monkey cage in her pocket and staying there. Befriending the wastoid (Lizzy Caplan) and homosexual (Daniel Franzese), the misfit trio hatch a plan to infiltrate "The Plastics," a group of perfect girls whom, to parse Heathers (and why not, Mean Girls does almost nothing but), the other kids all want as a friend or a fuck. Lo, Cady becomes that which she most abhors, and lo, her indomitable streak of virtue snaps her out of it in time to make a cleansing speech about acceptance in front of a student body in desperate need of another guidance counsellor.

Taken as social commentary with a thought in its pretty little head, Mean Girls sucks. Taken as a better-than-average teen comedy with nothing at all on its mind, it's pretty good. Written by "SNL"'s Tina Fey and scoring with Waters's once-a-movie affection for paying tribute to Hitchcock (a pair of broken glasses here for Strangers on a Train/The Birds effect) and Tim Meadows's hilarious transformation into a bat-wielding Joe Clark, the picture is moderately entertaining every time it jumps the tracks. A strange reference to Janis Ian, for example, is followed by an equally inexplicable reference to Ian's song "At Seventeen," something serving as that rare flash of quirky smarts that salvages the film to a degree even as it has the unfortunate side effect of throwing light on just how banal the rest of it is. Mean Girls is the dork giving up its uniqueness and disguising its intelligence in the quest to be utterly indistinct. It's tragically ordinary–and that's like so ironic or something. Originally published: April 30, 2004.

THE DVD
by Bill Chambers Paramount issues Mean Girls on DVD in an expert 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation.* The image maintains stable saturation without dulling the film's tropical palette, and thankfully the telecine operators lay off on the DVNR, which had erased fine textures from the studio's last teen title, The Prince & Me. A high volume of supplementary material (including four audio tracks) appears to have resulted in on-again/off-again edge-enhancement, but it's not a deal-breaker, nor is the burnished look of the opening credits sequence. Meanwhile, although the Dolby Digital 5.1 soundmix is downright playful during a split-screen phone call between all four mean girls, it favours a modest approach typical of dialogue-driven comedies. A Special Collector's Edition, the disc additionally includes a feature-length commentary from director Mark S. Waters, co-writer/co-star Tina Fey, and producer Lorne Michaels, who sounds exactly like Mark McKinney's impersonation of him in Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy. Though Waters's bathroom motif (part of Mean Girls as well as his oeuvre proper) is discussed at length, the participants avoid lowbrow humour–or much humour of any kind, actually, despite the laughter inevitably promised by the yakker's pedigree.

Fey and Waters contribute optional commentary as well to nine deleted or extended scenes totalling 7 minutes. Filed under "So Fetch," they're mostly bits of Home Alone-esque sabotage on Cady's part that strain credulity, such as Cady quickly reverse-engineering a bathroom scale so that it stops measuring at 112 pounds. Three respectable featurettes from outfit Sparkhill–"Only the Strong Survive" (25 mins.), "The Politics of Girl World" (11 mins.), and "Plastic Fashion" (10 mins.)–provide a decent overview of the production courtesy of cast/crew interviews; find Queen Bees and Wannabes author Rosalind Wiseman proselytizing about the importance of pretending that teenagers matter; and acquaint us with intuitive Mary Jane Fort, the film's costume designer. "Only the Strong Survive" is the best of these–and not just because it contains the most footage of gorgeous Amanda Seyfried: Here, the interviewees are effusive without coming off as disingenuous, and I daresay that Fey's casting observations approach insight. The outtake montage "Word Vomit" (6 mins.), a trio of mildly amusing interstitials in which the title players spoof PSAs (were these shot for MTV or something?), Mean Girls' theatrical trailer, trailers for The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, "Secret Central", School of Rock, The Perfect Score, The Prince & Me, and a Paramount promo round out the platter. Said previews also launch automatically upon inserting the disc.

96 minutes; PG-13; 1.85:1 (16×9-enhanced); English DD 5.1, English Dolby Surround, French DD 5.1; CC; English, Spanish subtitles; DVD-9; Region One; Paramount

*Also available in fullscreen.