Although I'm a lover of film in my mid-twenties, I saw The Ten Commandments for the first time only last week. I've tried watching it on television in the past (it airs every Easter weekend here in Canada), but the quality of the print they show annually is in such bad shape I could never endure more than a few minutes before shutting it off. Just because the movie is set in ancient Egypt, it shouldn't look like it was made there, too. I'm happy that I waited, for there is nary a better way to see The Ten Commandments than on DVD. (More on the disc's transfer below.)

Unfortunately, because I'm also a wisenheimer, I couldn't help but laugh my way through the majority of my virgin viewing of Cecil B. DeMille's biblical epic. Is there someone with less range who has played a wider variety of characters than Charlton Heston? Whether emoting as Moses in The Ten Commandments or as Michelangelo (in real life both gay and considered a dwarf!) in The Agony and the Ecstacy, Heston walks around like a man with an erection that just won't die, and he'll order a hamburger or announce the parting of a body of water in the same portentous, basso profundo voice. Outside of William Shatner (whose trademark halting delivery has also kept him ripe for imitation), there isn't another twentieth century actor as simultaneously bad and sincere as Heston.

Yul Brynner strives for the same level of braggadocio in the part of Rameses, Moses' "brother," and he's such a superior thespian that he arrives at a convincingly malevolent performance. Here, Brynner has the stare of a snake charmer but the temperament of a cobra, though he's forced to utter some of the movie's grandest howlers. To Nefertiri (Anne Baxter), Rameses' reluctant wife-to-be: "You're a food for the gods. I'm going to have all of you!" (Aside: did they speak in contractions back then?) Then there's notorious womanizer John Derek as Joshua, enthusiastically telling his fair maiden at one point something he surely never uttered in the presence of a female off-screen: "Water before love, my girl!"

Smirking at the (homoerotic) dynamic between the men in the film's first half proves uncontrollable. In one sequence, the Egyptian leaders park their chariots where they can observe the slaves at work, and they appear to take sexual pleasure in watching the svelte and sweaty Hebrews digging away at the earth with phallic shovels. (I'd even argue that such is their motive for killing a helpless, elderly worker: the sight of a wrinkled, tired prune intrudes on the fantasy.) The film is immensely enjoyable, especially in its talkiest moments, because DeMille's players inject the material with subtext and energy. I was in fact disappointed by the less provocative closing acts, which consist of the famed pyrotechnics that 1956 audiences no doubt came specifically to see.

In my favourite moment of the picture, Moses visits the burning bush. After an incoherent mumbling from God Himself, Moses emerges from the cave with unimaginable knowledge, a glimmering staff, and a new, mousse-perfect hairdo with matching salt-and-pepper beard. Yes, Vidal Sassoon is the Lord Almighty!* Did a similar thing happen centuries later to Wolfman Jack? In real life, this would send all the village women straight to the burning bush, the Holy Grail of Salons.

Did I mention that Edward G. Robinson(!!!) plays Dathan in blackface? Boy oh boy... Recently, my friend quietly admitted to me that he had ordered The Ten Commandments DVD, defending his purchase with, "Hey, it's a guilty pleasure." First off: we roll with what we roll with--why should we feel guilty about enjoying any movie outside of, say, Barney's Great Adventure? Let's quit attaching guilt to pleasure, the world's terrible enough as it is. Secondly, since The Ten Commandments is one of those designated classics, a film fan need not justify a purchase of this stentorian soap opera, especially to moi.

I have yet to delve into the actual cinematic side of things; suffice it to say, the film is a little too static for my tastes, but this same friend who ashamedly loves the movie pointed something out I had not thought through. The frame is often still in The Ten Commandments in order to invoke the composition of many a renowned religious painting. This is possibly why DeMille chose to shoot The Ten Commandments in VistaVision instead of scope--a wider aspect ratio would most certainly have compromised this hypothetical approach. I wish I were better read on the subject of DeMille.

Of course, at times The Ten Commandments is a technical orgy of special effects and montage; it's as though DeMille's theatrical and cinematic sensibilities are at odds with one another. The result of his labour is one of the most (if not the most) unique epics of the period, something meatier than your typical pious CinemaScope production--The Robe coming to mind as an example of the latter.

When compared to the annual television broadcasts, The Ten Commandments looks astonishing on DVD. The 16x9-enhanced, 1.78:1 letterboxed transfer is not, however, on a par with other restored efforts of the period such as Vertigo. Occasionally, the vivid colours bleed--cobalt blue skies smear onto the edges of mountains or temples. Flesh tones are very artifical, as per the nature of '50s Technicolor films (as is the domination of reds). Brightness wavers slightly on occasion, as if the projector bulb were being sporadically dimmed.

Now for the positives: the image on the disc is consistently sharp, revealing a level of detail probably not seen since its theatrical reissue. Watch the thousands of slaves in exodus: each of them is distinguishable, down to (depending on the size of your television) the individual facial expressions. The special effects sequences also look terrific. (Unfortunately, the astounding clarity also draws attention to the picture's numerous bluescreen and matte shots.)

As has become standard practice for Paramount, The Ten Commandments' soundmix has been remastered for DVD in 5.1 Dolby Digital sound. While this does little to enhance the tinny quality of Elmer Bernstein's marvelous score (be sure to listen to the overture before the main event), the climax of the Red Sea sequence thunders nicely, as does the moment in which an old woman is nearly crushed by stones. Some whipping winds and crowd noise also fill the room at times, but again, this is not a refurbished soundtrack on the order of Vertigo. I will definitely say that the standard Dolby Surround mix also available on The Ten Commandments DVD, which I sampled briefly and by accident, falters--dialogue sounds much clearer and the soundstage is much broader in 5.1.

The Ten Commandments has been spread across two dual-layer discs. The first contains 135 minutes of the film, the second the final 85 minutes in addition to three trailers. DeMille introduces this three hour and forty minute spectacle in a long-winded, pompous speech. (Aside: The Ten Commandments was the last movie he directed, and actually a remake of his own silent.) More enjoyable is the lengthy preview in which he also appears, a la Hitchcock, to provide insight into the complexities of realizing his biblical vision.

Lastly, disc two would not play at first in my Pioneer DVL-700. Usenet folks advised me to press "menu" button once the menu screen popped up, but this did not work. The player either froze at this point in search mode or stopped completely. I don't recall how I finally got the disc to play, just that it took me almost 10 minutes and I nearly gave up. Perhaps a higher power had a hand in getting it up and running.-Bill Chambers

*DeMille himself voiced God, natch.