SPOILER WARNING IN EFFECT. One of the many perks of this job is learning the incredible disparity in Hollywood understanding, i.e. how it can treat utterly bizarre behaviour as normal and utterly bland material as bizarre. Rob Reiner's latest failed comeback bid Rumor has it..., for instance, keeps cuing us to the wild, kooky nature of most of the participants but fails to deliver the nutty goods. It would like us to believe that Sarah Huttinger (Jennifer Aniston) is suffering greatly under her dead-end newspaper job, even as it moves to soften her every expression of dissatisfaction. It would like us to believe that the imminent wedding of her too-perky sister (Mena Suvari) will lead her into a lion's den of awful relatives, when in fact they're the same boring stiffs from other cream-coloured romantic comedies. And when it's revealed that their late mother's romantic travails served as inspiration for The Graduate, the constant reminder of frothiness ensures that the info registers right up there with stubbing your toe.

Who, indeed, are these people--the ones who fear emotion to the extent that they'll sabotage their script and direction in order to ensure that nobody feels pain? Casting Jennifer Aniston is an early sign that you're not looking for range, while giving Mark Ruffalo velvet barbs to sling as her boyfriend Jeff is another indication that you're not playing hardball. But the whole revelation of Graduate-hood--meaning that playboy multi-millionaire Beau Burroughs (Kevin Costner) might actually have sired Sarah--is soft-pedaled to such an extent that there's practically no movie. Those beige interiors tell you everything you need to know about the mentality of the filmmakers and the level of drama you can expect: your yearning for something better is foolish and all for naught, they say--there's nothing spectacular in this world beyond the mundane, and you ask too much to ask for something resembling keening pleasure.

So. Sarah seeks out Beau with the intention of learning her true parentage, discovers that he's impotent, gets drunk, and sleeps with him. He's dashing, he's rich, he's exciting--clearly, this must be stopped. Though the movie takes great pains to establish that Sarah really loves Jeff, it's a mechanical sort of love preordained by the God of Romantic Comedies. The crisis lacks any hint of tension--even the fact that our heroine is the third generation of women to sleep with Beau seems motivated by a checklist in a MAD MAGAZINE do-it-yourself-Reiner-job article. There's no discomfort in watching her throw away her true love for this well-meaning cad, because everything has been arranged to suggest that she'll return to her default position by film's end. It's like watching Bruce Willis hang off a cliff: we know something will happen to save him. It's the whole reason we showed up.

Shirley MacLaine is in this thing as the Mrs. Robinson prototype, and while the film is smart enough not to make her into a gorgon, it's not smart enough to give her anything to do. She's basically on hand to act moderately brassy and tell everyone to wise up. That she's a survivor of a loveless marriage goes largely uncommented upon, because Rumor has it... is basically about settling: satisfaction seems to be something you decide on rather than something you seek. This has the effect of a) giving you the go-ahead to blow off your dreams, and b) working as an excellent guilt trip to anyone who thinks they may have made a mistake. The movie goes down easy thanks to Reiner's sheepish professionalism, but watch out for that chaser: Rumor has it... is more of a guilt trip than it thinks, courtesy of filmmakers who bulldoze as they pass out their feeble leaflets. Who are these people, anyway?

Warner gives the film a better DVD presentation than it deserves. The 1.85:1, 16x9-enhanced image is surprisingly sharp and clear, well-saturated without bleedthrough and decked out with superb fine detail. The Dolby Digital 5.1 audio is understandably subdued due to the non-blockbuster status of the film, although the occasional bit of room tone or background chatter enlivens the rear channels. The only extra is Rumor has it...'s theatrical trailer; promos for "Superman" DVD titles, Superman Returns, Just Friends, and the complete Friends begin on startup. Also available in HD.-Travis Mackenzie Hoover

© Film Freak Central; filmfreakcentral.net. This review may not be reprinted, in whole or in part, without the express consent of its author.

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DVD VITALS:
Running Time
97 minutes
MPAA
PG-13
Aspect Ratio(s)
1.85:1 ONLY, 16x9-enhanced
Languages
English DD 5.1,
French DD 5.1
CC
Yes
Subtitles
English, French, Spanish
DVD-9
Region One
Warner

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Published: May 10, 2006